I haven't done much the past two weeks, mostly because I was waiting for the 18th of January (later changed to the next day) to come around, which was when I was to go to the physiology lab at NUS for some work experience. In the meantime, I didn't have much to do, really, except practice piano.
omg shoes
I think I went shopping for more craft supplies one of the days, and I don't know what is wrong with me, but I always wear the wrong socks with my shoes. The first time was when I sent Hans to the airport, and I thought wearing my short black socks with my sunflower shoes, but that meant the tongue of my shoe rubbed against my skin. When we went to look for cheap socks, they sold four at ten bucks, and since we couldn't just buy one pair, I had to buy four at one shot. But the socks were stuck together by thread so Hans had to rip it apart for me and I just changed my socks in public. Another day, when I went to buy craft supplies, I wore socks that were too thin for my shoes, so my shoes kept falling off my heel making it really hard to walk in. Again, I bought another pair of socks, and they had the plastic thing instead, but I managed to pull it out since socks are elastic. To be honest, I had seriously considered bringing one of my proper socks with me that day. I can't believe I didn't just wear proper ones asdhofalsdkjfad If anything, I'm now armed with more socks so I can't go wrong - unless I make a really dumb decision again.
I did go back to school for open house, because I had to pass a junior my literature books anyway, so I thought I might as well be there to help out at the history booth. I spent most of my time at the history booth talking to our history teacher, Mr B. But kids being kids that aren't really interested in history, it was pretty boring. I tried reading one of the history magazines laid out, and I don't remember a single thing from what I read. I don't think that many people came to the booth. The new syllabus is pretty interesting though, like I would go back to school just for the lessons on Japan and the American civil rights movement, but I think that's in their second year, so I can't really since uni.
When I talked to Mr B, he kept telling me to get a job and I was like, yeah I know lol But I hadn't gotten word from the physiology labs at NUS yet, see, so I couldn't get a regular job until I knew when I was free. The lab technician lady went on holiday for like three weeks, and she was only coming back on the 18th, so that was a pretty long break of having nothing concrete to do. I even told him about my parents being in Doha to see my bro, and he was astounded by how I didn't want to go. Come on Mr B, who wants to go to the desert, but he was like how could you pass up an opportunity to expose yourself to a new culture. Touche, Mr B, but I couldn't do anything about it anyway lol
Lab experience
Since the lab tech lady was only coming back on the 18th, I assumed she wouldn't be in that day, so I decided to go the next day. I spent the 18th with the Boob when he came back to get his grades remarked. We couldn't spend much time together though, because his flight was the same night, and he had to pay phone internet bills that he hasn't done for the longest time. We went down to one of those mobile service provider stores, and it turned out that he didn't need to pay - he actually had money to collect instead. Turns out what he owed was paid using his deposit so he just needed to pick up the rest of the deposited money, but that needed a letter too. So, we went down to the hostel, searched for the letter, picked it up, and went back to the service provider store. But he couldn't collect the money. What he needed was a different official letter that allowed him to collect the money - which would be sent to him in a week. Welp, We went to watch Ip Man 3, so das nice. (The beginning was pretty hilarious, and the movie wasn't that dramatic with the fighting, but it was a nice change of pace to see Ip Man as a husband rather than just as an upright and righteous man.)
Now is the real important stuff: lab work. I had gone to the labs before with my Dad, so I roughly remembered where I needed to go. I got stuck for a little while because I couldn't remembered how to get to the Science department's canteen, but I managed. There wasn't really a fixed time for me to come down, so I technically wasn't late lol The lab tech lady showed me around the labs and brought me through the lab safety protocols, like knowing where the liquid nitrogen tanks were, the keys to the chemical cabinets, what kinds of waste goes into which coloured plastic bags, all that stuff. We probably spent a good hour and a half going through all of it, and things seemed like I could get an access card to the labs so I can come down on my own when I want to - but I couldn't. There was one bit on the list that I couldn't do: I think there was some kind of quiz assessment I had to take before I could get a card of my own, but the assessment was only available to those already in NUS. Since I was technically an outsider, I wouldn't be allowed to take it. The lab tech did say that I could contact either her or the PhD student I'm shadowing when I'm there, so that they can open the door for me, so that's still okay for now.
I spent the last half hour talking to the PhD student I was going to observe. I guess I wasn't really allowed to do any experiment of my own since, after all, it's her research work and she couldn't possibly risk anything if something went wrong because of me. Also because I wasn't there for official research purposes of my own. Still, following her around and observing her experiments isn't so bad. I think it's something about a protein and how it affects the formation of the cell membrane of cancer cells. There was something else about another kind of protein that affected the expression or formation of genes in stomach cancer cells, so the theoretical stuff she was talking about wasn't that foreign to me. She did say that sometimes the experiment itself can get repetitive, so I suppose I don't have to be there every day since there's not much point in observing the same couple of things repeatedly. I'll probably follow her around when the new PhD student joins the lab, so I can learn along with the new student. I should probably check with her when that's gonna happen.
teenagers
The other thing that has kept me busy is Theology of the Body, and I have discovered that I really don't know how to be a facilitator of my group. I think it's partly hard for me because 1. three of the girls already know each other so I'm the odd one out, 2. I know one of the girls. I don't know her personally, but I know of her and she knows of me because of children's choir. I was kind of hoping I could get a group where none of them know me so that sharing things with them would be easier since there would be no existing basis on which they could judge me or something. I was never social in church, not among fellow catechism kids or in the children's choir. Also I feel very out of my element because I feel like I have almost nothing in common with them. WHERE ARE THE WEEBS AND THE FANDOM FANGIRLS LET ME BE AMONG SOME PEOPLE I CAN RECOGNISE Also one of the girls is really quiet. My mum says it's because she's friends with the girl who was supposed to be in my group, but she changed parish. Still, I'd rather a quiet girl that I can talk to one-on-one than three girls who talk among themselves with whom I don't belong with lol Can't u tell Im a gr8 teenagr who is hip and kool and rel8table.
Anyway, while going through all the preparation for this, I was worried that they, as fifteen year-olds, wouldn't understand sexuality, relationships, or have even thought about it. I don't mean to say kids their age haven't experienced relationships or felt confused about themselves, but I think TOB makes more sense when you've been through relationships and problems - and you're fully aware of what is going on in such things. But then I came to the conclusion that it's only by going through such things and reflecting back on them, that you're then truly aware, so age doesn't matter.
I think it's more accurate for me to say that I'm worried they don't have the maturity and ability to look at experiences, reflect on them, and identify what they have done wrong or where to grow. Yeah, I think it's the ability to reflect, recognise mistakes, and knowing how to move on from there that they need. Even my Mum says that she wished she could do this for older teenagers who are at least a little wiser and more exposed, but as it is with Catholic teenagers in my parish, not many would want to come back for such things. And if we don't do it now when these kids are still in catechism, no one else will educate them on the church's perception of sexuality and our individual selves. It's at least better that we teach them these things while they're still in church before they leave.
Anyway, regardless of their maturity or age or whatnot, our purpose with TOB for now is to educate them, even if they don't fully understand it right now at their age. The point is to equip them with knowledge about how to wholesomely perceive sex and sexuality, and maybe some day in the future, when they're faced with such situations, they'll think back and use whatever it is we taught them to help them make their decisions. As long as they learn something new that is useful to them in the future, then we've done our job. Also it's about aiding them make decisions, not dictating them how to live, because ultimately that's their choice in the future.
I can't remember how my train of thought came to the topic about age and maturity lol I remember while I was reflecting on how TOB would be carried out, I was thinking about how embarrassing and cringe-worthy secondary school was like. You know, it's like when you wish past-you was current-more-knowledable-you so that past-you could have avoided all the embarrassing stuff that happened. But then I realised, that it is only by going through the embarrassing stuff - and reflecting on them - that you learn from them and grow in maturity. The fact that you can recognise how embarrassing things were means that you've grown. As much as I don't like fifteen year-olds because of the immaturity they possess right now, I can't disregard the fact that they have to go through it now so they can be better, more self-aware people later (as long as they actually reflect on what they've done wrong).
I feel like this part about teenagers and growing up is all disorganised, even though I had thought through it a lot whenever it crossed my mind. There's just so many things to take into consideration about maturity and the different kinds of experiences you've been exposed to while growing up, and how that affects your understanding and perception when you're older.
hon hon hon
The thing about going to France is a very recent issue that came up, in the most unpredictable, unexpected way. I think what's more surprising is that I'm allowed to go.
Last Sunday, I went downstairs to the church office to get the air-conditioner remote for the choir room, and as I was leaving, I saw Father R there. He came up to me (which I thought was weird because he doesn't really have business with me) and asked if I had anything to do from now until uni, and I told him I was free most of the time, and he was like good, you wanna go for another pilgrimage, and I was like wat. It was so out of the blue, and big trips like these need planning. It isn't just open to anyone - and it was in April, which I think in relation to the months of preparation they do, is quite short-notice. Like I didn't even know there was a France trip, meaning that the invitation for it must have been sometime last year. Neither did I think of Father R to be this spontaneous about something that needs a lot of organisation. He told me to ask my Mum if both of us can go, and he even told me to tell her that he said "things happen for a reason" as a way to sell this deal to her, because I just so happen to be there when he was around.
To be honest, I was pretty interested in going, but I don't really know why, or at least, I don't remember why lol Maybe it was because it felt like an honour to be invited since Father R asked me and not anyone else. Or maybe because it was like "ooh, France" and I quite enjoyed the trip to Austria, so hey, this trip should be pretty fun too. Anyway, I messaged my Mum about it, and she was like "April?? Sigh!!" because we still had TOB to run, at least in the first half of the month, and she, of all people in the TOB team can't afford to leave since she's in charge of it all. Even if we couldn't go, I wasn't that disappointed either because the suggestion popped out of nowhere, that if we didn't go, it wouldn't make much difference to us anyway.
That was, until my Mum got a call from Father R that same night - suggesting that I go on my own. If you know the young babby child that I am, that's a pretty big deal. When my Mum told me that, I was dumbfounded. Like, I have to be responsible for myself there. And I don't know anyone except a few people, since most of those going are newly baptised adults. I have to take care of my own passport and everything!! I could feel the anticipation and excitement of going somewhere on my own creeping up on me, and I was actually looking forward to it, even if it meant I had to be responsible for myself and careful, since it was France. But I didn't really care, because !!!!!! This is gonna be excite!! My Mum went to church on Monday morning (since she goes for daily mass anyway) to ask about the details and everything - and apparently I have the approval of my parents to go? I'm pretty sure they're trying to get rid of me lol and maybe this is the chance to.
That's probably the biggest thing that happened this week, to me at least. My Mum is getting a new Honda. I mean she's been looking at eco-friendly hybrids because her car is getting old and the COE for it is expiring soon, I think, and she wanted something that would save money and the environment. But the reason why she's getting a new Honda, is because the one now has been causing problems from wear and tear, and just on Tuesday the radiator overheated, so my Mum had to send it for servicing. While she was there, she decided to go buy a Jazz since it's cheaper than the hybrids she had considered earlier, and at least the service at Honda is reliable so das good. The car won't come until a few months from now, but the payment and all that was settled yesterday when I went out shopping with her.
I think my overall plan for the coming months in chronological order is:
1. Piano exam - March
2. Lab work - Mid-Jan to March-ish
3. France trip - April
With all that in consideration, I think I can definitely find a regular job Mid-April. Right now, piano lessons are twice weekly, I don't know how often I should go to the lab (since it could get repetitive and I can't do anything on my own there lol), and April trip. I could probably sell paper flowers for now, but I'm gonna try and make a proper bouquet first before I know what I can sell. Also I should probably tell my Mum just so she knows what I'm doing and where I am in case of anything. I should probably also learn a little French for April, (and some Indonesian lol) since I have time. Oh right, I still have to apply for uni LOL
Look Mr B, I'm spending my time wisely lol
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