Saturday 31 December 2016

End of the Year Post

It is time, for the final post of the year. (I won't write another post at midnight tonight, I'll just put everything in this one.)

The following will be a list of things I'm grateful for and resolutions (if they relate to the thing), since reflection is about looking at what has happened and what to do better in the future.

  • Going to France and Japan: it feels like the two trips were ages ago, when really they were p much at opposite ends of the year lol I'm glad I'm fortunate enough to explore new places and just experience new things, like snow, natural scenery, cathedrals. And it's nice to do things by myself, like walking around Sapporo, going on a pilgrimage with people I don't really know lol
  • Resolution: I have to do driving, not just for the practicality in having the ability to drive, but as a way for me to get over my fears of doing something like this on my own. I think I should start preparing and going for theory lessons in January, after my normal school timetable is settled. Hopefully it all works out time-wise.
  • Another resolution: Since I ate a lot in Japan, I'm gonna have to get myself moving again. I'll probably skip taking the shuttle bus in the morning and walk to the station to go to school (except when I have classes at 8 or 10 in the morning).
  • Getting B+'s: well, it wasn't quite what I expected. I figured that getting an A/A- wouldn't be so hard since you know, we're first years, it can't be that hard lolololol But I think that made me slack, and underestimate how much work I needed to do. And considering that next semester is more jam-packed than this semester, I can't afford to take things lightly. Also, what's really annoying and frustrating, is that I didn't manage to get my SP module - which I die die must do this year - and I don't know if I'll be able to get it, considering how the remaining classes up for bidding overlap with my allocated modules ugh.
  • Resolution: well, I haven't really figured out how to resolve this lol orz Also I end almost every day at six!!! to eight!!! pm!!! I don't know how I'm gonna come up with a game plan.
  • Having friends: Okay well, I'm not the most sociable of people. I don't consider any of the people I've met in classes and in CSS as "friends", since I still barely know them and they barely know me. For awhile during the past few months, I also isolated myself. For some reason, I started thinking that people didn't really care about me, wanted to talk to me, or bothered to look for me. Of course, unhealthy thinking which may not be true - but I also never felt safe to talk about these thoughts with people, save for three people, since I'm scared of what the rest might think of me. Another reason I don't like hanging out late is 'cos it means either I bother my parents to fetch me home at night, or I walk a kilometer from the main roade in the dark. Despite this though, I'm glad that I had a chance to hang out with people at least once.
  • Resolution: Hopefully, if my timetable permits, I can hang out with people from school more often. At least the CSS group have designated lunch times when they meet up, so I think that's a good opportunity for me. Also, during the times when we have sharing sessions, I'll try to be more honest about my thoughts and problems.
  • Another resolution: I think I need to change my thought process a little. First, I should try to be more grateful for the things I have, and appreciative of the people around me, because I think one of the reasons I can't help other people, is because I'm too focused on myself. Nothing wrong with having to fight your own demons, but I think focusing on myself too much hinders those closer to me from approaching me - and makes me forget them too. 
  • Second, when I have problems or stress, I should talk to someone about it. I think the other reason why I don't talk to others, is because I feel like I shouldn't bother other people with my troubles. I guess again, it plays into the cycle of me thinking no one wants to listen to me.
  • Having somewhere to go: having to go through this whole thing of moving around, first to a temporary apartment, and now my grandmother's house (yes, we're moving again 'cos we can't afford to stay here for another five days) made me realise how lucky I am to have the things I have. Even if it means having to walk out to the bus stop, taking Dal out on walks, doing the really small chores (refilling water containers, washing/drying dishes), at least I can still live in peace, without being disturbed much.
  • Resolution: maybe I can help my mum to do the laundry? That's something to think about.
  • Writing more than the past two years: I didn't really notice it until I looked at how many posts I wrote this year. 23, compared to the 4 and 9 I did the past two years. Granted, that was during a time when some things happened, and I thought people didn't care about me, so I didn't see the point in writing anything about my life then lol
  • Resolution: hopefully in the new year, I can write about more things. It's just a matter of going out, experiencing things, and writing about them (although, experiencing them is the most important part).

I think I'll be okay. I just gotta look at what I already have, and look forward to the future, even though I'm scared of so many things. Everything will be okay c:

Friday 23 December 2016

Hokkaido Holiday

Just came back from Hokkaido, so I'll spend a day or two to write a whole post about my trip, even though there were a couple of my photos have been posted on my Instagram already. There are some little stories and bits of information that I think is interesting, and some pictures that I forgot to upload lol orz

Day 0: Flying at night is kinda poop, really. I don't know why, but sometimes when flying, I feel really gassy. Apparently that's 'cos I swallow a lot of air. I thought I wasn't, but actually I have been when I try to un-pop my ears by yawning. (Knowing that though, meant my flight back was easier for me.) Anyway, being gassy felt pretty uncomfortable on the bus, and I thought I needed to solve that by eating something, but that's not true - I had to toot everything out. But hey, at least I'm not as bad as my dad.

Oh yeah, a day or two before we left, I had to go to the dentist for routine checks and adjustments. Aaaaannnd I got rubber bands put in :U The orthodontist glued on new hooks on the inside of my two upper molars, both left and right, so that's four hooks. The bands on each side, hook onto two upper hooks, then diagonally go across to an existing one on the outside of my lower jaw. It took me some time to get used to, but during my trip to Hokkaido (I accidentally typed Hookaido LOL) I just took them out whenever we had a meal. Sometimes I got lazy and just put on new rubber bands instead of using the ones I had that day. I think that meant I'm running out of bands though, but ah well.

On the flight itself, I watched Kubo and the Two Strings, and Kimi no Na wa, both of which was good. Kimi no Na wa was surprisingly better than I expected. At first I thought it was gonna be like 5 centimeter per second 'cos that's what it reminded me of, but I felt like there was greater plot and better character relationships in this one. Wanted to tear up a couple of times during both movies, so they're good c:

Day 1: We landed in the morning, our first visit was to the Sunagawa highway oasis where we got ice-cream, and I ate it in the snow c: Later we ended up at an Aeon mall in Asahikawa, where we were to get lunch on our own. We ended up eating some cheap pasta 'cos we can't speak Japanese lol We still managed though, just pointing at the menu. We would then repeat this a couple of times later throughout the week, since we had more meals on our own. In hindsight, these two places was probably 'cos the ride to the actual sightseeing places were kilometers away, so they needed some breaks in between, hence the stops at shopping destinations that are just, normal shopping places.

The first sight we went to were two waterfalls, ginga and ryusei. It was super cold 'cos we were up on a mountain, and the winds just blew snow everywhere. The little old man at the souvenir store nearby actually came out to us, handing out paper cups of burnt-tasting tea to us, and let us use the toilets in his store. I started wearing four layers from then on. My dad and I bought mikan from him, 'cos you know, to help with butt troubles.                                                                                                            

                                       

Dinner was a kaiseki filled with crab. Usually I don't eat crab 'cos I'm lazy I don't know how to eat crab, but it wasn't so bad, since the legs were already cut and you just have to dig it out. The last part of the meal was a hairy crab - one for each person - and omg it's just too much to eat. I noped out of there. My dad and I just walked around the hotel, and they had a little arcade corner, where we spent our 100 yen coins on slot machines, gacha, and crane games. (They're really tempting omg)


The onsen there was really nice too, their spring water had sulfur in it, so it was really smooth and soft. At first I was hesitant to go in by myself, but then I thought, eh, I've been to an actual public bath, going to one in the hotel wouldn't be so bad. It was mostly empty with a few old ladies, so that was okay. Also I learned from my previous onsen experience: tie up hair, wash self with soap, and then soak. I did better than my dad, who didn't know you were supposed to wear something under the yukata, so he got grunted at by some old farts lol

Also it gets really dark pretty soon. By the time it was almost four, it was like seven at night back home. The sun still comes up at around six, but our days are evidently shorter.


Day 2: This day was mostly sightseeing natural places again: an observation area, three lakes, and a sulfurous mountain. We first went to Bihiro pass, which was so foggy that we couldn't see the lake below. Also the snow was so deep, that I sank into it with every step, and got snow into my ankle-high boots. Surprisingly, it didn't feel so cold so I think got me some gud boots.

can't see very far out.
ain't nothin to see out there.
look at my lil feet in the sno

We visited another two lakes later, Lake Kussharo and Lake Sunayu. I don't remember much of the first one, but the second one was the one with geese swarming around a warm area in the bank. Apparently there's like a hot spring under the ground near that spot, which is why the geese just floated around there.
Duck duck geese

Then we went to a Mt. Io, that spews out sulfur, so it just smells like rotten egg. At least it wasn't too strong, though.

 Last visit that day was Lake Mashu, and it was pretty windy and cold. I only lasted at most five minutes looking out at the lake.


That night, we stayed at a hotel that had a tribal aesthetic with totem statues, and bears in the lobby. Lake Akan was also right behind the hotel, which was nice to look out at from above. There was another onsen, but it wasn't as nice as the first one. There were also stores along the street that sold handmade wooden craft things. I would've gotten stuff from there, but I don't know what's a good price for some of their things. We did buy our bro a shirt with a comic-style bear attack on the front, which was kinda expensive, but even when we looked at bear shirts in other stores, we haven't found a shirt like it before, so I guess it was worth it.

bear is unsure as to what to do about all the people coming into his territory
Day 3: My dad and I took a walk along the lake early in the morning. Also, I'm not in the habit of wearing gloves 'cos I can't take pictures (or play pokemon go in them lol) very well. Just means I have to suffer having very cold hands that I can't feel lol orz


the lake's blue, da ba dee da ba dai

We went to watch cranes at Akan's crane center, where they feed cranes during the winter. It started by a few farmers scattering some feed for the few cranes that came by in the winter during their migration, in an effort to help them increase populations. They still feed them, but I don't think they treat or take care of them, the center is just like a stop over area for them lol There were also a bunch of photographers with their large, camo lenses, taking shots of the cranes feeding and taking off. Apparently that day was a good day to take shots, since there were so many cranes around and the sun was out. I tried to take some photos too, but I realised that zooming in on my screen results in grainier pictures, so I think they only look okay. I later bought myself some postcards and a little birb pin ouo

I don't have many good shots ono
We later went to a fish market, where we can get our own lunch. I think the highlight of the place was to buy yourself a bowl of rice, and then go around the fish vendors to get fresh sashimi. We would've done that, if we knew how to converse in Japanese, so my dad and I just settled for ramen 'cos that was easier lol orz

Later, we were on the bus for another two hours or so to Ryugetsu sweetpia garden, which is known for their desserts and sweets. Just like us, people come from around the area just to eat good sweets, even though the place is like in the middle of nowhere, and diddly darn do I like me my sweets. My dad got us an eclair (that had good cream filling omg) and a cheesecake. I liked the cream the best 'cos it made the pastry moist, and it wasn't overly sweet either. We also bought a box of mochi coated in soybean powder to bring home. I didn't realise that it was gonna expire so soon, like a day after we land, but the rest of my family snatched it up anyway when we came back. It was some gud mochi, man.

yum yum in my tums.


That night, we were in a small city called Obihiro, which didn't have much going on at night. Our hotel was near the JR station, which had some shops that we looked at. There was a 100 yen shop, where I bought some cloth for a possible sewing project, a small bookstore with manga and other Japanese literature, and even a store that specialised in manga and comic supplies. There were ink pens, copic markers, proper manga paper, stuff like that, so that was interesting to look at. Apart from that though, there wasn't much going on in town at night. We tried to walk to other buildings, but they were stuff like furniture stores, and a pachinko building, so needless to say, we didn't go around that far.

Day 4: First business of the day was to go shopping. We headed back in the direction of the airport, 'cos there was an outlet mall nearby, Chitose Rera outlet mall. They mostly had branded goods though, which doesn't interest me, so after my dad bought himself some new pants (to fit over his thermals), we went around the toys section. At first I didn't want to, because you know, I ain't no kid no more, but we did anyway, since we had time and nothing else to do.

There were some interesting things though, like bags and pencil cases designed to look like breads and sandwiches (which I wanted to get for Ju, but they were p expensive), stuffed toys (which were also expensive, although probably less expensive than back here), a whole store just for jigsaw puzzles that even sold frames to go with them, and rows and rows of gacha machines. Guess where most of my money went LOL I got most of my gacha items from there though, like a Tubbs keychain, tonkatsu from sumikko gurashi, litten, gudetama, and a small lil bunny. I hoarded all of them in the pockets of my jacket, so I couldn't hide my hands from the cold that suddenly came upon us. The snow was thick and large enough that it was visible on my phone, so I took a short video of snow falling.

For lunch, we had some grilled beef and pork, which was a change from the seafood and kaiseki meals we had previously. It was also near a small stream, which had some geese floating in it, so yay, more birb photos lol They were pretty cute, although they weren't moving around very much.


On our way to the next hotel, the tour guide decided to let us go the the Silo observatory to see Lake Toya, since it was on the way, and to reduce some of the stuff going on the next day, since it was gonna be pretty packed. Again, I didn't spend long out there to take photos, since it was so windy and cold.

I was pretty sad though, in the souvenir store. I wanted to buy just two postcards, but the line at the cashier was so long, thanks to the PRCs buying horse oil. Also while I was walking around the store, I apparently missed a fat cat that was sitting outside in the cold, so I missed the chance to take pictures of a cat ono

The hotel (nonokaze resort Toya)  was real fancy, with Lake Toya at the back. I think it's the best looking hotel we've been to lol They also had the best onsen experience I had. There was a bath on the roof, and it was magical up there omg It was kinda scary at first, because not only is it cold out there, but it's so dark, you can't tell what you're looking at. But the darkness was the perfect backdrop to watch the winds blow white steam around you, it was so mystical to watch. The onsen pools inside also had the best temperature, but when I went back into the indoor pools, I started feeling dizzy, possibly 'cos the cold on the roof was doing me in. It was still enjoyable, though. Best temperature and experience, but the water wasn't soft, it was just normal hot water.

Day 5: This day was more travelling, headed towards Sapporo. We had a lot more to do today, since some of the sights are close together. Before that though, my dad and I took a walk round the back to see the lake.

That was also when I learned how important ear protection is. It was so cold, that my eardrums started to hurt, and it was such a strange feeling, I thought I was gonna damage something. So now I know, wear a beanie lol

Anyway, in the morning we took the Usu ropeway up to an observation deck on mount Showa, to overlook Lake Toya again and some other smaller mountains. It was super cold up there though, and again, going out without gloves is a bad idea. I didn't last long out there lol



There was a little slope where you could bobsled down. I had a go at it, and it was quite fun, but having a small pile of snow as a cushion to crash into, my legs got stuck in it. Touching snow with your bare hands is freezing omg and I got snow in my shoes and around my ankles. At least there was a standing heater in the lobby of the ropeway, so I managed to warm up a bit.

Next was the bear park that was down at the base of the ropeway. I had looked the place up beforehand, and came across some bad reviews about it, like how the bears lived in concrete and metal cages, in areas too small for them. But people enjoy seeing animals, so :/ I fed them 'cos I felt bad for them, even though I think that meant funding the park. Ah well.


The baers. They rISE.

Next we went to Kyogoku Fukidashi park, where apparently you can drink the water from a waterfall there. I forgot to take my container to drink the water, but my dad just put his face at the water collection point to drink it. He said it tasted slightly salty, probably from the minerals in the mountains. It was really pretty with white snow everywhere. Water and ice are my #aesthetic I think I got some pretty good shots.




After that was a three-hour long journey to a chocolate factory, which wasn't that great. Or rather, because there were so many people and tourists around, it kinda put me off. We were supposed to be there for cookie decoration, and even then, we only had one chocolate pen to decorate with, and the session didn't last very long. The place itself was pretty big, though. There were pretty-looking desserts on sale, but since it was near dinner time, we didn't get any, so we went around their mini toy and memorabilia museum, and the light decorations outside too.

so temptingggggggggg

look at them chubby pikachus

The ride to Sapporo was a really long one though, not because it was far away, but because there were too many cars on the road. I guess it doesn't help that the roads were icy and slippery, so all the more reason to be slow and cautious. And the restaurant we were supposed to go to kept calling our tour guide, asking when we'll be coming, 'cos apparently it's a very popular place, and if you don't get there on time, they'll have to let other people in instead. They still let us in, even though we were about half an hour late, but I think that's also 'cos we were a tour group of 30 people, so they wouldn't leave 30 people out in the cold to find their own food on such short notice lol

Day 6: We went to Otaru in the morning, and boy oh boy, more tourists. (I say more tourists, when in reality, it was a particular group of tourists, and I don't want to be mean and stereotypical, but gosh diddly darn dem PRCs.) We had our photos taken at the canal, and then allowed to walk around, and go shopping for specialty items, like a store dedicated just to music boxes, glass stores, and dessert stores like LeTao. I think the mass of people around us got to me, 'cos I became annoyed after awhile, having to wait for the rest of the tour group. I just wanted our tour guide to show us the places to shop at, and then let us go where we wanted to, instead of wasting time talking to us about the stores.


We didn't go to LeTao, though, which I think is Hokkaido is famous for, but since we were gonna go for lunch after (and how we now know how much there is to eat) we didn't eat anything from there. We did have ice-cream though, because why would you give up a chance to eat ice-cream? After lunch we went to visit the old government house, which had some historical stuff in it, like a museum.


After that, we were given time to walk around Sapporo on our own, although our tour guide wanted to show us some places to shop at, like this store that sells chocolates and sweet stuff from Ishiya along tanuki koji. It was, again, filled with PRCs, so my dad and I decided to go there the next day instead. Oh yeah, the reason why he brought us there is because the stuff there is 5% cheaper, compared to other stores that sell the same stuff. Apparently in Japan, they sell the same products at the same price, so pricing is standardised across all stores, even at the factory outlets. I don't know how true that is, but eh, better to buy food nearer the end of the trip.

Anyway, after he brought us to tanuki koji, we headed off on our own towards Daimaru, because that's where the pokemon center was!! It was slightly more than a kilometer walk away from where we were, and it wasn't hard to get lost since Sapporo's layout is that of a grid. We could walk all the way there underground, just that we didn't know where the exit would be, so we walked above ground for awhile too.


My dad left to sit outside and wait for me, while I spent like, at least half an hour in there wondering what to buy for other people. I did find the original vulpix, my sweet child. I got my bro a team skull pikachu, when it turned out that he wanted one of the plushies with a ditto face. Sadly I only knew that when we came back ono Ah well. If I could, I would've bought a set of plushies of the current starters, but I no enough money. Also the line was crazy long, and I was burning in my jacket. For some the reason, the store had a bunch of middle schoolers with baskets filled with pokemerch, and I'm like ??? Why y'all in school uniform on Sunday, with so much money? The guy at the cashier was also pretty nice. When he spoke to me in Japanese, I told him I didn't understand, so he tried to speak to me in English.

After dinner, we walked to Odori park, where they held a Christmas market with some Christmas lights on display too. There was a store selling postcards designed by local artists, ranging from the kind of artists at artist alley, to little kids. I bought some cards from there, of course. Again, I'm not good at taking nighttime shots of lights.


The roads were pretty slippery, since it was just ice, no fresh snow like in the countryside, so getting around was a work out for my legs and feet.

Day 7: The day was completely on our own, but at around ten, our tour guide was gonna show us to other shopping places and how to use the underground, which we already did the previous night, so we just went out from there. We headed to the store selling the chocolates, and then went to Tokyu Hands before coming back to unload whatever we got. We went back out just for lunch, and then came back. My dad wanted to spend the rest of the day to check on his mail and work stuff, but I wanted to walk about some more - so my dad let me off the hook and allowed me to walk around on my own heheh I knew where I wanted to head towards, which was a kinokuniya near the TV tower, which was pretty much a straight line, so I just had to stick to google maps.

While walking, I passed a bunch of comic stores, one of which was a rental store - and the only people inside were just men. Men in suits, or just young guys, they were there. I left after realising it was mostly manga catered to them, so I continued walking. There was another store that sold instead of rented, and this one had more girls - because of the doujins. I would've bought some for people *cough jo/ju cough* but I didn't know if they needed to check ID for R-rated ones (I assume there were), so I didn't. They had YOI, Free, Haikyuu, even APH, you know, the usual stuff. I would've bought manga from there, but I couldn't find any recognisable one, or any that I've read, except for koe no katachi, which I already have.

I managed to get to the TV tower, but couldn't find the store, 'cos apparently it was underground. Their kino wasn't big, but trying to go through all the manga in Jap took up quite a lot of time. I managed to find something for Daryl (he chose Your Lie in April) I also got some change from that for gacha machines hehehe When I got back up to the main road, I slipped and fell on my left side, which hurt kinda bad (I can still feel it lol orz) Along the way there were some arcades, so I went there hoping to find a gacha machine that had love live in it for Jo. Sadly, all I found were claw machines, and love live machines. I ended up spending 400 yen on some claw machines, hoping to try my luck on the larger items. I spent my last 100 yen coin on a vending machine for hot milk tea. Anyway, I enjoyed my time walking round on my own in the cold, just that it's really icy and hard to get around.

My dad wanted to eat at one of the highly rated restaurants since we were there, just that we didn't know how to make a reservation lol orz So we got the receptionist at the hotel to do that for us. It's a Japanese-Italian restaurant called Picchu, and it's a really small place, with seats at the counter round the kitchen, and some seats upstairs. Needless to say, it was kinda hard to communicate with the waitress. She asked us if we wanted the chef's recommendation, which is omakase, but according to reviews, it took real long, like three hours long to go through all seven courses, so yeah, we just ordered from the board on the wall. The menu was in Japanese and Italian, so uh, yeah. At least there were some recognisable words, so we ordered those. 

While waiting for our food, my dad could look down and take a sneak peek into the kitchen. He mostly saw just one person working, doing one dish at a time, which probably makes sense as to why service was slow. But then he got confused, because he remembered seeing a young guy that also served some of the guests, and my dad sometimes saw two people in there. We had mozzarella cheese with some seafood thing, a salad of scallops, and two pastas with, guess what, herring roe and cod sperm! We had no idea we were eating, until we googled what we were eating. The herring roe was okay, but the sperm was kinda weird. We also had medium rare venison with wasabi and peppers. 
This is genuine Japanese-Italian, Italian dishes done using local ingredients that are also Japanese delicacies, so that was quite a different experience. Turns out there was some history linked with why there's so much Japanese Italian food, and I think it's an interesting read.

When we finished, we saw the same young guy and the waitress send us out - and that was when we realised, it was the young guy who was cooking for us, although we swore we saw someone behind him in the kitchen when the young guy opened the door for us. Still, there was something nice in knowing that this young guy in his twenties serving good Japanese Italian food, and survive while being the only chef in his restaurant. After that, we just went back to the hotel, pack our stuff, and sleep early since we had to wake up early.

Day 8: We had to leave the hotel at about 5.45 in the morning, because our chartered flight was 8 in the morning, and we couldn't afford to miss it, since it's a flight specifically for other tour groups too. I watched Kubo and Kimi no Na wa again on the plane, slept for about an hour and a half or so. At least the flight back wasn't so bad when I realised how much air I swallowed on the first flight. When we went collect our bags, our tour guide came up to me to pass me a receipt, allowing me to collect a pokemon for $9.90, since he remembered that I like pokemon. I got myself a litten to join my vulpix, so I guess it was a good idea I didn't get a litten in Japan lol

Overall: I think this trip had less stuff to do and see than Shikoku, since Hokkaido is larger, and there's more travelling to do. But I think I enjoyed myself better on this trip and better appreciated what went on, since I'm older lol Our guide though, I think could be better, though. His commentary isn't very exciting - or factual. He said he studied history, but when he talked about Japan's involvement in World War I and II, it was pretty biased and too general. His personal stories were more interesting though, like how he used to work in finance, but one day decided to drop all that, learn Japanese, and move to Japan to study more. He then came back to become a tour guide, because apparently the Southeast Asian region was a popular holidaying spot among the Japanese. Or at least that was so during the time he became a tour guide. However, some of his personal stories that he shared about Japanese culture and lifestyle sounded kinda outdated to me, like about the treatment of housewives at home. I'm not saying that it's not possible for it to be true, but I don't know if that is still true for the current generation. Another was about radiation and cancer, and even if he says that he reads the papers and cuts out good articles, I don't think he's entirely educated on those areas.

His one interesting story though, was about a time he hosted a yakuza chief in Singapore, while he was still a rookie guide. Apparently he was doing so well and pleasing him, that before the big guy left (he had to leave early 'cos his son was in some life-or-death trouble with another clan), he offered him a whole brief case of stacks of US cash. Very tempting, I must say, but he managed to turn it down. One of his Japanese friends warned him against taking money from the yakuza, especially since he's a tour guide, it's easy to use him as a mule for something. Once you take their money, you can't decline to do a favour for them. It is a little terrifying though, to know how close someone was to making a bad decision. I think that was the most interesting story from him lol

Back Home: Anyway, we're currently temporarily staying in an apartment while our bathroom renovations are going on. I don't know how my mum managed to survive in a dusty house, and sleep in her own room where drilling work is being done. I think my sister stayed downstairs in the basement, and my bro stayed in his own room since it's not being affected. But with my dad and I back, we needed to move out since we can't all fit. So now, we're living in a condo near ACJC lol Even though we're in a pretty convenient spot, I can't really go out 'cos my wallet is locked at home, where the bathroom works are taking place. My mum did go back one to get some of my clothes, but since it was in a locked drawer, she couldn't get it. Also, there's only a few key cards to go around, and I'm stuck with the one that is torn in half and held with tape lol I could go out, but only if someone else is at home, since someone needs to open the door for my mum, or if I take dal out.

Ah well, that's mostly it for now. Soon this year will be over, and then school with start, and hopefully the home will be done by then. Sigh, school :/

Monday 5 December 2016

Updates at Home

I've been meaning to write a follow-up post from the last one, but never really got round to doing it, until now lol

So the problems with the actual house is gonna be resolved soon, I think. The leaking has led to some damages, but the actual amount of water that has been leaking is reducing, I think. And my bro and my bathrooms are gonna be renovated, so hopefully while they're digging up stuff, they can figure out how to solve the leaking problems, and the circuitry in my room can be fixed too. Meanwhile, surviving by candle light isn't so bad either lol (I use it to practice taking out candles using by clapping it out, or by wushu-ing it)

Dal did have some weird problems for awhile. He started limping and kinda walking on one side for a few days, and he couldn't lie down or sleep in peace, so he would just stand up most of the time. Even when we brought him to the vet one night, he would walk fine, just that he would flinch a bit. The vet said that it doesn't seem like anything wrong with is reflexes, but he also mentioned that dogs sometimes pretend, or mask their symptoms. As soon as we got through door back home, he began limping again and kinda half-walked half-fell to the side LOL Such an actor. Even after another trip or two to the vet (and even a specialist) we still didn't really know what was wrong with him.

It wasn't until our maid came back to visit for a day, and when my (second) bro came back from Qatar, that Dal was back to normal, wagging his tail, barking at other dogs, and jumping about. So, we don't know if Dal was just going through a period of doggie-depression. We thought not, because my bro and I are home pretty much all the time now, so technically he isn't lonely. Maybe he just missed having people at home. Even so though, if that was the case, he should be showing symptoms again since my (second) bro has flown back to Qatar, so. I don't really question it, as long as he's fine and not in pain anymore lol Also I take care of him most of the time, bringing him out to pee around lunch time, and giving him his dinner if no one else is home yet, so that's what I've been doing at home lol

So the situation with my maid: we were pretty sure she was gonna fly back. My sister even made a little booklet with our photos and got us to write stuff in it. I even gave her my stuffed bear before I left for school, on the day she was supposed to leave. Fortunately, she managed to find an employer at the last minute, so she stayed with us for a few more days before leaving. During the first week with the new family, things seemed okay. Looking after kids is more fun for her, I think, at least it's not so boring. We even made an agreement with the employers that she can come over to our place on the Saturdays that she's free, since she'd probably go out with her own friends on her free Sundays, so at least on Saturday, she has somewhere to go.

Recently though, I think things have been getting tougher on her, because the previous two maids that were working there, left too, so now she's left to take care of the house by herself, and the employers themselves don't have good personal habits. According to what my mum said, apparently the parents can go out on a Saturday night to drink, and come back locked out of the house 'cos they forgot to bring their keys. The father leaves his cufflinks and his belt in his pants when he's changed his clothes. And I'm like ??????? How can you constantly forget your keys???? And get yourself drunk, like you have to be responsible enough to take care of your own kids!! And do you think that your shit won't get lost in the wash??? So she's hoping to just survive these two years of her contract, and then fly back home.

Anyway, since she's not here anymore, my bro and I have to find out ways to feed ourselves for lunch when we're home lol orz The first time my bro cooked for us, he didn't know how to use the new microwave that functioned as a grill too, so since he didn't know how to use it to toast bread, he just put bread in an oily pan, and fried it. It was quite nice actually, made it crispy, but also very oily. My bro was gonna do that a second time the next day, but as he was putting in the next slice of bread, he dropped it, and Dal snatched it up straight away. He gave up cooking after that, so the next time we were both home for lunch, I had to cook instant noodles, and heat up the sausages in the microwave. I'll be honest, that was my first time cooking instant noodles - so you can see that I'm even more hopeless than he is lol

We probably survived on some microwaveable food for awhile, until my mum left out some filleted fish for us to cook. Once again, it fell on me to cook since my bro wasn't going to. I ended up getting step-by-step instructions from Hans via whatsapp (ikr) on how to cook the salmon. That was my first time frying something with supervision and my god, is it terrifying for me. I put oil in the pan (but it didn't fully cover the pan lol orz) tried putting the fish skin-side down, but it ended up being skin-side up. Then it got stuck. I managed to flip it over somehow, and then the skin got stuck too. At one point I got so scared, I just switched the gas off, and didn't dare touch the pan, so the salmon wasn't fully cooked lol orz I don't know how I managed to get it off of the pan, but I did. And I guess I did cook something edible, even if I had to put it in the microwave for 50 seconds. My mum then later said that that piece was hard to cook 'cos it was pretty thick. Anyway, I was traumatised by it for about a week, until this weekend.

I went shopping with my mum to get a new pan (really, I just wanted to get out of the house 'cos I needed to hatch my egg LOL). The pan was small enough that I could use it, and was non-stick so I didn't need so much oil, and things wouldn't stick to it lol Then when we went to isetan, they were selling salmon fillets marinating in basil and olive oil. Since they were pretty thin, and technically already flavoured, my mum thought it was a good idea to try it. We bought four slices, and cooked three of them that night. At least with some help and someone watching over me, I wasn't so bad. There was a point when I was supposed to flip it though, and some oil splattered onto my hand. It was painful enough that I freaked out and was too scared to flip it, but I still had to do it, so I did lol All three slices turned out okay, just that some where oilier than others. Since I could do dinner, my real test was today - cooking the last piece by myself.

It is pretty evident I came out of it alive LOL Although I did manage to burn the first side orz I got scared again when trying to flip it 'cos the oil was sputtering again (even though it wasn't in my direction) so I turned the fire off orz But then I had to light it up again 'cos the other side would still be raw if I didn't continue. So, I managed to finish it, and put it in the microwave for half a minute for good measure, just in case it was still raw. In the end, I had edible fish. As much as I want to be proud of myself for getting better, I can feel so much judgment that I can envision people having of me lol

Sigh.

As for my knee, somehow it got better over time. My mum gave me some cream thing, but that's only like a painkiller that in itself isn't foolproof. When I sit down and raise my leg from the knee, sometimes you can hear a cracking sounds, like the kind when you crack your fingers lol But for some reason, that now doesn't really happen anymore, which is weird. The true test was during pilates, when one of the exercises looks like this, which uses the knee, and surprisingly, my knee didn't hurt the next day. I don't think my knee has fully healed though, sometimes when we do exercises that needs you to put weight on it, I get a little worried, but so far I've been getting better somehow lol

Apart from all that though, school stuff has been okay. Evolution finals had fewer questions than we expected, stats was somehow more of analysis rather than actual calculations, and my effective reasoning paper was a head-scratcher, but I left early since I figured that extra time wouldn't answer my questions if I really don't have the answers lol Other stuff that has happened is our church's advent fair, where we sell stuff to raise money for a chosen charity that year. We do it at the end of the year during advent (the four weeks before Christmas), along with other things, like actually visiting the organisation, volunteering there, making videos to show during mass so that we can collect more money from the people lol

I helped out by getting some of the girls to sew Christmas ornaments. At first, I thought it would be pretty easy for them to do, but I think like 75% of the work was done by my mum and I lol orz They still did contribute quite a fair bit though. I handed a whole sheet of felt to one of the girls to cut out hearts and stars, and she basically used up everything in one day. I went over to one of the girl's house too, to sew designs on, and taught another how to sew the string that you use to hang the ornaments. All of that saved time, so that I could either study a little bit, or to sew the more difficult parts. Still, I'm glad that they were pretty happy we sold all of it c: My mum told me to finish up the remaining pieces when I'm free, and I even bought another bag of stuffing (which is so much softer btw omg) so I'll probably do some more. I should probably pack my luggage first though, since I'll be leaving for Hokkaido in a week. I can't wait, but it's the packing that I've been putting off :/ So, I guess I'll go do that now lol

Sunday 30 October 2016

The house is falling apart lol

A lot of things are happening at once, or at least it has been happening over this past month. The false ceiling is leaking water from my parents' bathroom, my bathroom light, fan, and ceiling light doesn't work, Dal all of a sudden got twitches and has been shedding a lot, and our maid is leaving us. She was intending to find another family to work with, but since no agents or families want to hire her, all of a sudeen she decided she's going home tomorrow. So yeah, the house is falling apart lol In the words of my maid, "the house is crying".

For awhile this past month, I felt pretty bad. I got some knee pain on and off some time last month, and even though it doesn't hurt anymore, I think muscle at the back of my thigh has had to compensate for it. That was one of the things. And at first I thought it was 'cos I was stressed with work, and some things happened that reminded me of how much my social anxiety and fear of stepping up for things has affected me lol And I think the reason why I've been feeling poop these past few days is because I didn't really want to see all these other things happening, 'cos there's so much to deal with. I feel poop 'cos I don't want to feel all of this - and I guess I will have to eventually, I am getting there, but in the meantime, I gotta keep it together 'cos I have work to do.

But I'll manage, hopefully things can blow over.

Wednesday 21 September 2016

University: Recess Week

Right now I should be working (practicing my evolution questions for midterms, doing up my presentation on pseudoscience lol) but my bro was just talking to me, and I thought it would be a good time to write some stuff down. So this post isn't just going to be about school, but also about my bro and some stuff I came to realise after the midterm retreat that I went for held by the Catholic society in school.

2 kool for skool

Where I am now and where I was on the first week has been different: things became a lot more settled after week 2, I think. And I'm fortunate enough to not have a very stressful semester, partly because of the way I wanted to structure my timetable (I was thinking of leaving the afternoon of Wednesday to Friday free so I can find a job, but that didn't happe lol) but also because of the mods I have. I only have two major requirement mods, a freshman seminar mod, that isn't compulsory but contributes to my faculty mods, one general education mod, and Indonesian lol Next semester though, I know will be a lot crazier, with four major + faculty mods allocated to me (two life science, one chem, that GER thing) and have to bid for another faculty mod that I die die must get next semester. So yeah, in comparison, this semester is less crazy than the next.

Learning Indo has been quite fun, actually. At least I get the chance to talk to other people, (and to Hans wkwkwkwk) and learn something completely new. I think it's easier to learn than some of the other languages offered, because 1. it uses the Roman alphabet, so there's no need to learn new characters like in Korean or Japanese, 2. the words themselves aren't that hard to understand, I think. But I suppose the challenge comes from the usage, like not just in sentence construction, but also remembering what certain phrases are. The grammar aspect isn't that hard, once you understand a certain grammatical rule, it's not that bad, but the conversational part is kinda hard to remember. Like if you ask me, "how do you ask what classes someone is taking?" (which is one of the things we learned to say) I cannot remember what the phrase was. If you asked me to read the phrase though, I'd understand it, but remembering what it was in the first place and to use it, is another thing lol

My GEM mod on effective reasoning, is easy when it comes to understanding the "theoretical" aspect of it, but being able to apply it by identifying what is going on in the examples. So I suppose that's the hard part about it, and I don't know if the theoretical aspect is gonna get harder as we go on lol orz

My freshman seminar mod is basically about the process of scientific inquiry, and what sort of science comes out of it when you follow the process (good science), not fulfill certain parts of the process (pseudoscience), or take matters into your own hands (ugly science). Right now is about pseudoscience, which I'm supposed to do a presentation on one example of a pseudoscience, but guess who's writing a blog post instead lol It's been interesting, and at least has given me an opportunity to write an article that is (somewhat) scientific ('cos we're allowed to do on things that are based in psychology, but trying to explain the science behind that can be difficult), and I realised that I need get back into writing something, anything. I need to practice writing again lol

Evolution is kinda hard to study, 'cos almost everything is new, and we do a chapter each lecture (that's two chapters a week) and of course reading a textbook as it is is hard to do. I suppose I'm also fortunate enough to have the time to read through the textbook, so I have to make good use of my time. Stats is bleh for everyone.

Tuesdays are my long days: I have my stats lecture at 8, and my freshman seminar mod that ends at 6. And I guess in some way that's a good thing for me, because group meetings for the science faculty Catholic group is on Monday and Tuesday night (you can choose either one to go for). Since I'm in school till 6, might as well go right lol

Midterm Retreat

This was an interesting experience for me, and it was quite different from the freshman orientation camp run by the Catholic group. Long story short, I suppose I learned a couple of things from it:

1. The role of Catholicism in my life plays more than just how I live my life and what it motivates me to do (wanting to be a person for others and helping others who need me), but also a place to go back to. I suppose I kinda saw Catholicism as having two parts: your own relationship with God, but your relationship with other people and a need to be a person for others. I think for quite a while, I always thought I had the first, and that now I had to focus on the second, but then I realised that that wasn't what I needed. After a while, you need to go back, not get ahead of yourself, and remember to focus on you as a person, not just who you want to be.

That being said, I aslo realised that sometimes I should open up to other people, and not just be the listener all the time lol Even though I may not have major issues right now, I also have to recognise that there'll be a time when I can't carry absolutely everything, and to allow myself to be vulnerable as well.

2. Honesty with yourself. It's more than just recognising things about yourself or the situation you're in, it's also about accepting them. I think sometimes, there is this unspoken expectation for ourselves to be okay all the time, and if something is wrong, then you're the problem, there's something wrong with you, because you know, everyone else seems to be fine. And because of this expectation, we put on a facade, of what is "normal", and leave all the problems hidden within us. This is the first layer of being honest with yourself: admitting that you're not okay.

I think the next layer, is not to just admit you have problems and hold them in your hands, but to accept it and surrender yourself. Of course, that's always hard to do, especially when you feel like you need to get rid of certain problems, that are a part of you who you are. How do you cut off a part of you? Which I suppose goes onto the point of my bro.

My Bro

So, my brother has been coming to talk his feelings out with me recently, for a few weeks already. Basically, he met this girl on Tinder (I know, not the best place to find the kind of person he needs, but I think he got p lucky with the person in question), and his anxiety started acting up. Basically, she's not that responsive on whatsapp due to the nature of her work as a dentist, and that sort of made him paranoid, thinking that she wasn't interested in him. But the good thing is that he knows how to differentiate what his anxiety and bad experiences tell him, and what the truth is, just that the problem lies in having to always make that distinction, and knowing how to kick out the bad thoughts. And I suppose it's been harder for him to cope with that recently, since he doesn't have school or anything to distract him during his month-long break, but he knows what he needs to do, in small ways like just going out to the library, instead of staying cooped up at home. Long story short, he knows what he needs to do with the feelings he has, but doing it isn't easy. Which I suppose in some way, is kinda different from what he told me tonight.

I think he's been getting comfortable and used to the idea of knowing that she won't be able to reply him all the time, and that he just has to accept that that's a thing that he needs to do. It's not just head-knowledge anymore: he knows that she's busy, she's her own person, she likes him even if she doesn't show it through whatsapp, he shouldn't over-think what she possibly thinks of him, he should do his own things and develop himself instead etc. And tonight, he came in telling me that happiness is about learning to accept the situation you're in. Like during previous nights, we've kinda discussed how as people, we think that things are okay because we're in control of the situation: it's going the way we want it it to go, to follow our expectations, and anything that strays from it (when it goes "out of our control") then things have gone to absolute shit lol 

But I guess the problems we face aren't things to be solves, they're things to overcome, and sometimes you can only get past it by pushing through. Like his anxiety: it won't go away, it's not something that can just be taken from him, but it's something that he needs to learn how to manage. His past hurts and bad experiences, yeah, they've left scars, but he knows he can't hold onto the judgement he has of the person who had harmed him, and that he has to let himself heal. So as of now, he recognises and accepts the situation he's in, that he doesn't have direct control over, but he knows that he should still be doing what he's capable of doing in the mean time.

I think it's not exactly new insight, like at some point in time I also came to the realisation that there are things you just need to accept or overcome, but seeing it play out in someone else's life serves as a nice reminder. I am glad though, that he's opened up to me, and that he himself is growing, even if it seems slow, in hindsight it's quite fast lol Anyway, that's how the past six weeks has been lol

Friday 12 August 2016

University: Week 1

I can't believe it's only been a week, like somehow, it's felt longer than that? Although, there has been a lot of things that has happened.

Last Weekend
Saturday night, knowing that I could bid for the last vacancy in the GES I wanted, I sent an email to the lecturer asking if I could sit in the first lecture even if I haven't secured a spot in the module, and she was fine with that. Fast forward to Monday though...

Monday
Round 3A of bidding. Ah yes, I was intending to use that round to bid for my SP, which unfortunately, wasn't available at all. That GES, I checked the bids for it. Lowest minimum bid? 606 (thats almost teh deviles's number!!!!!) So I ended up replying to the lecturer saying that I probably won't sit in since I can't possibly get in as a freshman lol (darn seniors saving up their points and spending it all in year 2...) So in the meantime, I applied for Indonesian, and  continued with school as per normal.

First lesson of evolution was quite interesting, at least I like the female lecturer we have. My GET, eh, since it was a back up mod, I guess I can't expect much out of it. At least I have an OG mate with me, so that makes things less worse. By the time that ended, I was on my way to the station, and decided to check my email, to see if the lecturer replied. She did, but I checked too late.

Her email said that I could still sit in, but by the time I reached the station, the lecture was gonna start in like, 10 minutes. I thought to myself, okay, 10 minutes I can make it back in time, right? Well technically yeah, if you take the bus in the right direction. I took the bus to the end of its line, and thought that maybe I should just go home. I emailed the lecturer (honestly I don't know what's with me and unnecessarily emailing her omg I realise that maybe I sent too many indeterminate emails)  saying that I saw her reply too late and that I won't be coming in 'cos I was already on the way home. So, I had to take the bus back to the station. But guess what? The bus was gonna pass by the lecture theatre, where the lecture was being held!! I told myself that if I didn't get pass by the lecture theatre by 4.30pm, I'd go home - but I got to the LT on time, so screw it, I just went ahead and sat in, half an hour late lol

During the lecture itself, I felt like maybe this was a mod worth fighting for, like I should at least try to appeal for it, and whether I get it, is up to whoever is in charge lol Even if the mod depended quite a bit on doing things outside of school schedule, like going to nature reserves in your own spare time, I thought that it was something worth doing, and that if I want to get myself involved in science in Singapore (or at least reporting stuff) this is something I should do. But that would have to wait till I had the chance to appeal, on Thursday.

Tuesday
National day lol Everyone else was out and about playing pokemon, I stayed at home, 'cos 1. I didn't want to go out so far lol and 2. Istilldon'tlikethatpersonwithapalindromicnameandIdidn'tunderstandwhypeoplewerestillgoingtotheirplacejustforpokemonlikeomggg Also, I had switched off my phone to charge, and during that time, Joanna had messaged me saying they were at Botanics. I saw that message like one and a half hours later, and when she replied, they had already left lol

I went out with my bro that night, while NDP was being aired, to just walk around our neighbourhood, like from our house, to the main road, walked a bit along the main road, and then back in. At first when he said that we can go on a poke walk, that we would be going to botanics, but nope, just around lol But I suppose I'm p fine with just the two of us walking around, and hatching our 2-km eggs lol

Wednesday
Not much that day, since I planned for two tutorials that day. There was the GES lecture in the afternoon though, which I went for. I left early, 'cos the shuttle bus timing closest to 4pm was 3.20pm which would be barely enough time for me, so the next earliest bus was like 1.35pm lol Guess what though, I missed that bus, so I ended up walking all the way to the bus stop at the main road. I even got on to the wrong bus, and stopped at a bus stop somewhere near the Adam road hawker centre, and decided to walk to Botanics from there. It wasn't that far anyway, and there was a starmie at the hawker centre that I wanted to catch, so that worked out well LOL I spent about an hour walking around Botanics, draining my battery from about half to 37%, but I caught quite a couple of pokemon, like a dratini that I never caught before!

Then I headed to school, which in hindsight, I didn't have to go for, 'cos all the lecturer did was brief us again on coursework, grading, and the situation about how she's still waiting for a reply on whether she can increase the intake of students. Basically not really new information. I did drop by the co-op to buy my evolution textbook - and even if our OG mate found it online, I'll still use the hardcopy lol ('cos at this point, I pretty much have to.) We were released early, and by the time I was on blue line, I missed the 5.30pm shuttle bus, so I ended up in Botanics (again) for another half an hour and just walked around, until heading to the bus stop for the shuttle bus to go home.

Thursday
Finally, the day I can appeal. Went to school for our evolution mod, appealed for GES during that time (although now that I think about it, maybe I should've taken a little bit more time when it came to writing my reason for appealing, but to be fair, I didn't really know what kind of reasoning they wanted so lol ) and went around school a little out of it. For some reason that morning, I woke up with my head feeling heavy, and I think it might have been because of the vaccination I had on Tuesday, and my exposure to the sun on Wednesday. I still went with Ju to look at the student's life fair, but we didn't stay very long before we went to Clementi for lunch, and then headed back.

We were coming back to school in the evening though, for this mentorship programme that we signed up for within life science. The group I have, I don't really know them, except for one Indian girl I talked to quite a fair bit. But I guess I also know that there are other people I now know of in the same ST session as me (I didn't see them today though, but then again I was rushing to school since it was at 8 in the morning, and I took public transport!!) It's also nice to know some insight from a year 4 student, and listening to the seniors. We ended up reaching the station by about 9.30pm, so yeah, we were there for quite awhile.

Friday
My appeal failed. So, Indo it is, which isn't such a bad thing, after today's lesson, but that's later in the morning.

My first official ST lesson this morning, at 8 (sigh) Not much new information. The lecturer just recapped some stuff she said in the webcasted lecture, and even the stats she talked about was nothing new to us, just same old stuff from JC. I guess to be fair to those who went through poly, or the year 2s that are sitting in, they do need a refresher on the basics. But so much of it could have been cut down and shortened, and if she did, I wouldn't have needed to rush for my make up Indonesian class. (The Indonesian lecture slot I had bid for was on Tuesday, so we had to go for one of the make up ones on Thursday/Friday - but it's all the way in arts, in a building I've never been in, on the sixth floor.) I left before she finished talking, and just rushed to arts. I even ran up the stairs of the hilly portion leading to the canteen.

Surprisingly, I actually enjoyed today's Indonesian lesson. Everything was p straightforward, simple sentences, the meaning of the whole sentence can be deduced (each individual word, not really lol) and I guess I felt some sense of accomplishment pronouncing things correctly and being able to follow lol Maybe I was under the impression that learning a new language was hard, and I was always afraid of pronouncing Indo words in case I butchered it lol orz But yeah, I left the class feeling p happy with myself. I was supposed to meet up with Jessica today, 'cos I wanted to pass her some stuff I bought for her from France, and she was at NUH anyway - but I forgot to bring the things :I I also did another dumb by topping up my adult-fare EZ-link with $20, forgetting that we have a student one. (I haven't gone to get it yet though, so I suppose my mistake wasn't unreasonable lol)

Yeah, that's how my week has been so far. After typing it out, I don't really know what to make of it lol but it is what it is, and at least things have turned out okay c: (Until tutorial balloting is over, but that's another challenge on its own orz)

Friday 5 August 2016

University: O-Week and Week 0

I didn't know if I can blog about my science orientation week, since you know, drama about orientation camps, but I guess I can say some things.

Initially, I thought I was gonna be awkward 'cos you know, talking to and meeting new people. And I guess when I sat down to one of the guys during lunch and tried to talk to him, there wasn't much to go on, like he was almost interested in nothing after working at a Crocs store almost all day every day. I guess that kinda gave me a bad vibe of what the rest of the camp would be like: awkward conversations, having nothing to talk about with these people lol That was until, I sat down next to the guy, who listens to ancient Chinese songs, and discovered he's actually a weeb. Then talking to people on the train during one of our trips out and about, we learned we have a lot of people who watch anime. At least that made me feel more comfortable than compared to the Catholic camp lol orz Also Julia was there, so that made me feel better c:

Our OG also won the very first round of games on the first day, even though the remaining games were won by one OP house... At least that was something to our name lol And to my surprise, I actually felt disappointed when we were told the camp would be cancelled halfway. And that's coming from me, someone who was hesitant about orientation camps and socialising with people lol

Anyway that aside, bidding for modules has been a painful experience for me. During round 1, I was hoping to bid for my SP and one of the freshman seminar mods, and I ended up not getting either :/ During round 2A, I thought I would only need to bid for my GEMs, but then I discovered I could bid for my freshman mod too!! So I did bid for that lol And one of the GES/H, that I didn't know was a popular mod - but I Had no idea it would be so popular, and surprise surprise, I got outbid again. So now, after 2A, I ended up bidding for a GET that I didn't want to do, but I guess I can live with it, 'cos it's kinda TOK-based lol Also I learned that Crocs Boy is in my class too, so I guess having someone in the same position as me (it was a back-up plan for him too) makes me feel a little better.

All that I needed left was my SP, but I just learned that it's not available for bidding in round 3, so that's out the window. However, one of the GESs I wanted is available - but only one spot, and I don't know whether I should risk it. I mean I'll still try and bid for it, but as to whether I get it is another thing. Also if I do get it, it means I'll have missed the first lesson since it starts on Monday, the same day as bidding, and I don't want to miss a lecutreeeeee My back-up though, is taking Bahasa Indonesia LOL Honestly that's not a bad idea, since I have an Indo boyfriend and I should learn how to speak his language. Also taking up another language is not such a bad idea, it's a useful skill. But I guess I'll just have to wait till Monday to see what happens.

TL;DR bidding for modules is horrible, causes me a lot of heart pain and stress lol Just hope that next sem my compulsory mods get allocated to me... Module bidding is very sian and has characterised my week before school actually starts. Oh well :/

Saturday 23 July 2016

Sayonara, u weeb

So, Hans came back on the 14th last Thursday, and stayed until the 19th this week, to collect his school cert and come visit me lol It just so happened that by the time he came, we had two days of wake already, so he came on the third day of the wake, for the funeral the next day, and even went to church with me on Sunday. I think he was pretty okay with it though, 'cos like during the wake, he spent quite some time talking to my older cousins. (Also, one of my cousins was like "why no pictures of you two on your (my) instagram" hence the photo last Tuesday lel)

On Monday, I went with Daryl, Bei, (and Hans came later) to collect our certs, and it was kinda nice to see old teachers, and I was surprised they weren't bothered by us sitting in, even though it is kinda disruptive. Anyway, once again, talking to Mr B has made me aware of how unproductive I've been lol He asked me what I did these past few months - probably expecting me to say I've found work - but the first thing that came to mind was my sewing, so I told him I had been sewing lel I felt kinda self-conscious and critical of myself some time this week, partly because of that. But I know I did more than that these six months, surely, even if it didn't include a job. And yeah, I just realised I could've told Mr B I went to France, or that I had helped out in a running of a camp, but no, the first thing that came to mind was my crafts :I Although to be fair, I had forgotten when was the last time I talked to him (beginning of this year when nothing at all had happened) and the most recent thing was my sewing, so that made sense.

Anyway, we went to sing karaoke (I'msorryClaire) at NEX, and at first it looked kinda dodgy, but it was pretty well-lit, so it wasn't so bad. We sang mostly old songs, a couple of new ones, and had fun 'cos you know, none of us were there for serious singing (although maybe I'm 2 gud so it wasn't as funny when I sang lel)

On Tuesday, I went with him to buy my bro a large craftholic bear, 'cos his therapist had gotten him a small one, but a large guy like him needs one his own size, you know? And I had been thinking of getting one for him ever since he got the small one like a few weeks ago, but was wondering if it was worth it. Turns out it was, 'cos not only does he like it, he says he uses it as his blanket when it's too warm for a proper blanket, but cold enough to need some coverage LOL Also I wanted Hans to get me a stuff toy 'cos I don't really have something from him that I can see daily (except two McDonald Hello Kitties, I'm saving those to sell in the future), so we went around a few places, and finally settled on a pink flamingo from the airport ouo (like really, the airport of all places? But I like those generic animal stuff toys, not the ones from a series 'cos then I only see it as a character, not it's own being) We settled on the name Fran, because even though I saw the flamingo as a male, Hans saw it as a girl, so we just left it as Fran for Franz and Francesca. Say hello to my first genderfluid stuff toy LOL (Most of my soft toys are male to me, don't ask me why)

Also, my maid was hospitalised 'cos her skin condition got real bad. Like on the first night of the wake, she felt a chill, and the next day her leg was swollen. I think it's possible that she might have cut herself on the wood used to make the platform at my grandmother's place, which is how it got infected, 'cos I got a cut myself too and didn't feel the pain until the next day lol But anyway, it was a serious enough infection that she needed antibiotics in an IV drip. Hans and I visited her with my sister and her bf on Saturday. And I guess even though so much had happened during the time he was here, it was a good chance for him to spend time with my family too, especially since he'll be gone for long periods of time, and if he ever wants a future with me, he better get to know my family LOL

Anyway, with him gone, I went with Ju to watch Finding Dory yesterday, and we walked back and forth between JEM and JCube. We tried the claw machine for the Gudetama EZ-link card she wanted, and failed. Like I was so close actually, to getting one of the sumikko gurashi toys, like the claw actually picked it up, but then it fell through its grip, so :I y u cheat my feeling Oh yeah, I just realised that yesterday was the first time I bought a piece of clothing without my mum LOL Thank you, Ju, I'll wear that dress to uni (as long as we don't wear our dresses on the same day)

Today though, some drama went down during our catechism session, but I don't want to go into that, or at least I don't feel like I should lol But yeah, that's been my past two weeks.