Tuesday
My grandmother was hospitalised because of heart failure, and turns out that her left side stopped working. Last time I heard, I think it was 30% working? So that's not a lot. I think when we first heard it, it was such a shock because it was so unexpected. I mean yeah, she had a stroke before (which might have led to her dementia) but this heart failure was so sudden, 'cos she's normally alert and at least somewhat responsive when she's spoken to.
Wednesday
Anyway, I went with my mum to visit her on Wednesday night, the night after she was hospitalised. According to my aunt, she was feistier and antsy the previous night, trying to grab at the bed handle-thing, and when people offered their arm to her, she'd grab it real tightly. Supposedly that's because her adrenaline was still running high, so she was still moving around despite her heart failure.
That night we went though, she seemed fine, like she was alert and responsive like she usually is, just that she wasn't eating as much. When we went at dinner time, she only at a tablespoonful of food. She also kept grabbing at the bed-handle-thing, and thought what she needed was help sitting up better. It kinda worked, but she kept struggling and kicking at the sheets, like she was still uncomfortable. We also arranged with one of the priests (he's the soft-spoken, nice Chinese priest, in charge of pastoral care) at our church to come down and give her the sacrament of anointing (of the sick) the next morning.
Thursday
I, just to follow my mum 'cos what else am I gonna do at home lol, tagged along. It felt kinda weird though, watching her get cleaned by people. She kinda whimpered and looked like she was crying, and I don't know if it was out of pain (she had some bed sores), or embarrassment, or whatever it was. We tried moving her into a chair, so that maybe it would be easier for her to eat. Well, eating was no different from the night before, but I think she was more comfortable sitting than reclining, since she didn't put up such a fuss. She did keep leaning forward a lot though, trying to cough or spit out something, as though she had a lot of phlegm. I guess it was possible, since that a lot of water collected in her lungs. But when you're old and have no more chest power, it's not easy to do.
We let her receive the sacrament of reconciliation and anointing of the sick in her chair as well. I don't know if she understood what was going on though, 'cos whenever the priest laid his hand on her head, or when told to reflect and apologise for her sins silently in her heart, she would close her eyes, as though she was really thinking about it. That being said, I don't know how religious she is. I do know (I think while I was in primary school) that we used to bring her to church on Sundays, though.
It's weird suddenly remembering things like that; it felt like such a distant memory. Like I remember I had to help her buckle her seat belt, and my grandparents going to China, and she would buy stuff back for us. Apparently she used to take my siblings out a lot, to Botanic Gardens, or to buy toys (I don't remember those things though.) I don't know why I forget some of these family-related memories. I'm p sure that for a long time, I kinda sold my family-relations as "not really there, but that's fine with me" - although I guess things in the past would say otherwise lol Maybe it's just 'cos the recent past (secondary school onwards) didn't feature them much. At least now I can relate better to my bro, since we're both stuck at home now lol
Anyway that wasn't the point lol That Thursday night, my mum, sis, and I went to watch a musical titled "Falling", about an 18-year-old boy with severe autism, and how his family copes with it. It was interesting I guess, with realistic conflicts and tension: able-bodied daughter who (at least secretly) sees her brother as dead weight; grandmother that came on a visit offers prayers as a solution; mother who babies her son and solely shoulders his aggressive episodes.
I guess it's just like life: things would be a lot better for us as a collective if we didn't think about ourselves so much lol Like there's nothing wrong with the grandmother turning to religion as a source of strength and comfort, but there were jokes making fun of her beliefs, and when people indirectly shut her down for being "naive", like come on bruh, you can really do without that. Yeah, she may have crossed the line when she indirectly, unknowingly believed autism to be a disease that can be cured, but that's all the more reason why we should be educating people about mental disabilities!! You could say that the mother is endangering her life and the rest of her family's by letting the son stay with them, especially since he has aggressive episodes, regardless of how frequent or infrequent it is. But at the same time, staying in a home might not be the right choice for her son. The sister herself has a right to live her own life, and to fear her brother (after one of his aggressive episodes), but at the same time, her mother is struggling already as it is.
I guess ultimately, it's about being flexible, knowing how to give and take, how to accept other people's offers and how to listen and inform ourselves, and sometimes just keep on keeping on. Easier said than done though, but anything that keeps us moving forward, right?
Friday
Unfortunately, the next few paragraphs aren't particularly easygoing either lol On Friday, I went down to church to see how they were setting up the sec 2 camp ('cos there's a portion they're doing that we're doing for the sec 3s as well). I helped out with it, and talked to a daughter of one of our catechists. She's p nice I guess, and she's not part of the youth group, so at least I didn't feel so weird and awkward about having to talk to someone "close to my age" lol But then the youth group started coming in, to discuss their game stations and whatnot, and I just felt kinda self-conscious about their presence lol
I know it's weird, but somehow I just don't like the idea of approaching a group of similar-aged people, especially if they possibly know each other already. That's also one of the reasons I don't want to join them at this point, since most of them know each other already. Then that got me kinda anxious about orientation camps, and what might happen if I miss those. I guess the catholic one won't be so bad - but it kinda is 'cos I don't know of any catholic entering NUS this year. so going in alone is kinda nerve-wracking. Same with the life science camp: I don't want to miss it entirely, 'cos the dates Hans is here overlaps with the camp and I'm like !!!!!!!! I don't want to go into a group of people that already knows each other!! Yeah, so that's my biggest concern about camps lol (or the lack thereof)
Also we were looking forward to the finale episode of Masterchef the professionals (original UK version) and instead they showed the previous episode, and we were like ????? That was kinda disappointing, but my dad and bro managed to watch it online. I tried doing that too, but the video was out of sync on my computer so :/ I managed to catch the rerun today (Monday) though, but that just leaves my mum out of the loop, 'cos they're not showing it again ono When I watched it today though, it wasn't that spectacular, just them having to cook three dishes each, and I had already accidentally spoiled myself when I was trying to look up one of the contestants, so the reveal wasn't that huge lol orz
Saturday
Also, I came across an article saying how this season of Masterchef was sexist and I'm like, gurl do you even know what you're talking about. I mean yeah, only one lady made it through to the semi-finals, and even she was eventually eliminated, but that's not 'cos women were viewed or treated as lesser in the competition!! She was eliminated because even though her dish displayed her technical skill, it didn't have that X factor, that "something special" she needed to stand out from the rest of the competitors. The judges were looking forward to what she could do in fact, so take that, feminists-who-"watched"-the-show!!
Another point of complaint was something the female judge, Monica Galetti, said, about how women can't choose between being a professional chef and a mother. Firstly, it's not like she's the one dictating that women have to choose, she was saying it like it is - how the work environment is - that it has made it such that they can't do both. If you find fault in anything about cooking, it should be the work environment and perception. Yeah being a chef is labour-intensive, but sexism is when you limit women to certain jobs just because they're not "physically capable" to do a "man's job". [In other news, I really like Monica Galetti. She's an experienced, straight-laced lady who knows what she's talking about lol]
Sunday
And now, onto more "fun" stuff, <sarcasm> yaaaaaaayyy</sarcasm> I spent Sunday and today cleaning stuff, like a lot of stuff. My mum wanted to reorganise the kitchen drawer that keeps all our cooking stuff, like the spatulas, ladles, peelers etc 'cos it was all messy and things just piled on top of each other. Like she knew she had a new pair of scissors in there, a garlic press that went missing, stuff like that. So, we took everything out, went to Ikea (which was surprisingly very crowded, apparently 'cos it's hari raya puasa soon) and then rearranged everything! I think we did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself.
Then I cleared out the basket full of plastic bags. It wasn't so bad, just that well, some bags were kinda icky, aaaaaaaand a lizard threw itself at me when I tried opening one of the bags. I was traumatised when I was clearing out the second lot of plastic bags hhhhhhh Anyway, now the small bags (for Dal's poop-e-doops) is in a tissue box, so that you can just pull out bags as you need them, like you would do with tissue! And the medium-sized plastic bags, that can be used for dustbins in each room, is in its own little bin lol That took me quite a long time to sort through, and at some point I just gave up and discarded the dirtier plastic bags in the recycling bin lol
I wrote a bunch of emails/messages too: asking about whether I could skip the first day of the life science camp, clarifying some stuff about an internship this small papercrafting company is holding, looking for some place that sells second hand furniture so that we can sell our own furniture to them, and to ask my priest about the France pilgrimage photos I was supposed to organise and sort through.
The only reply I got, was from my priest LOL He forgot that I offered to look through them, then he said that he'll do it first. It was weird emailing him though, like it was sort of an awkward conversation. How formally do I have to address him? When does this conversation end lol I didn't want to end my reply too short, so I just reminded him not to forget to sleep (he sleeps four hours can you believe) and he called me thoughtful and I'm like ????? who dis I guess I was more surprised that he would reply so soon, and at night some more, like I thought he would have more pressing emails or stuff to attend to, but instead he entertains my smol inquiry lol On that note, no one else has replied to my messages :U
Monday
Today, I did even more clearing up, this time in my mum's study area, and under the sink upstairs. Reorganising three drawers-worth of stationery and paper wasn't so bad - until I realised that it took me like two hours. Ended up eating lunch at 2 pm, when I had started clearing at 11.30 this morning. Then I sorted through the pens, the cheapo free giveaway kind of pens, and the proper store-bought ones, then I went upstairs to clear what I could under the sink.
I gave myself an hour (and another forty minutes so that I could bathe before catching the rerun of Masterchef), and there were quite a number of hidden gems in there, like the rabbit-themed lacquer set, which honestly I think is really worth selling. There were things like cutlery, plastic trays, and plastic bowls that were kept up there, 'cos my mum intended to use upstairs as an eating area, but that never really happened, and even if it did, probably like once every few years (yes, years). Most stuff can still be used, but the metallic stuff like the cutlery and those Ikea metal candle lamp things got rusty.
I gave up cleaning when I found one box that had a really rusty holder of some sort. Like it was so rusty, that the cloth touching it was yellow. It has no reason to be yellow??? There were four ceramic mugs in there too which looked like they were stained, and I was just like nope, I'm so done with this, I don't want to deal with it, and just shoved that box back under the sink. I tried washing the plastic containers and boxes by spraying them with the hose, but that didn't really work.
Just as well I stopped though, 'cos then it started to downpour halfway through Masterchef. It got really bad to the point that this candle-lamp thing I was given as a gift, was blown off the shelf and fell onto the floor. It's glass, but at least it didn't shatter, just that the small glass panels kinda came out of its frame. Also my sister's exercise clothes got wet, but welp lol My bro and I managed to save the stuff I had taken out from under the sink though, and brought them inside. Hopefully the plastic boxes are holding up too, and they probably just collected extra rain water lol
Anyway, the problem of the remaining stuff under the sink isn't solved yet, and looking around the house, there are so many drawers that need reorganising - even my own. My mum said that one of her classmate's job is to declutter people's houses, and honestly, I wouldn't mind taking up that job LOL So if you ever need to clear out your drawers or wardrobe, just call on me, and I'll do it for like, $10 per kg. And every kg of items that can be recycled, repurposed, or given away, I'll give you $3-4 back.
Yeah, so that's mostly what's happened this past week! Tomorrow I'll probably have to go through more stuff tomorrow, although I kinda want to do it with my mum like we did with the kitchen, 'cos I don't know what are the things she wants to keep, or how to properly to dispose of really disgusting rusty stuff eugh. But my bro is getting all four wisdom teeth extracted, so I probably won't be able to do that. Maybe I'll look through the rags cupboard and clear those out. And then clear out more of my mum's study area drawers, and then clear out my own drawers? and then-- you get the point lol My life is just currently
Clear All The Things.
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