It's kinda hard to believe that it's already the end of March, huh? In just two days, I'll be flying off to France. People ask me if I'm excited for it, to which I usually say "eh" and shrug my shoulders, but I think that's just because I'm reminded of packing and having to take care of myself, when I just want to stay at home and play Story of Seasons ;w; I guess the other thing I'm worried about is how cold it would be and whether I packed enough warm things for it.
Anyway, last week has been pretty okay, at least better than the weeks before lol Eh, it might not be very interesting since they're just things that happened, but I guess I should write them down anyway?
My mum and I were invited by my piano teacher to have lunch with her cousin and niece, which was nice. At first I thought things would be kinda awkward for me, since I don't know my piano teacher's relatives that well, but we stayed for a pretty long time chatting with each other. After that, my mum wanted me to get new clothes, which I can't complain about lol Got two blue rayon blouses that look real gud, and striped legging pants. My closet is slowly devolving into blue, black, and white, with some red.
The next day (I think it was a Tuesday?) I went back to the lab. I don't think anything big was going on then. All lab lady showed me was how she did her cell lines. Basically, different kinds of human cancer cells have been recorded and documented in the form of cell lines, and these cells come from diseased patients from long ago (since cancer cells are practically immortal). What lab lady showed me was some of the plates she had been culturing, and how she created a new one from an existing one, since it's possible for them to overpopulate, and das no gud.
The reason why I say nothing big was going on, was because that was all lab lady had going on, in terms of lab work lol The rest of the time, she mostly had paperwork to do, so I assume she's planning her next round of experiments. I assume she released a paper too, (the one with the western blotting) so she could be following up on that after its publication. I should probably look for it and see if it exists lol Anyway, I read up on cell lines and the controversies behind them while I sat around. Basically it's about how scientists use contaminated cell lines but don't declare them in their published papers. So if someone's research paper is based on stomach cancer cells, but it turns out the cell lines used were contaminated with something else or mislabeled, they don't declare that has happened, so a lot of misinformation ends up spreading. Like some papers show that a drug intended to treat stomach cancer, doesn't work on actual patients, since the lab tests were on a completely different type of cell. And I'm like, y do u let dis hapen.
The biggest thing weighing heavy on my mind during the past week though, was my psalm. Once I settled the changes I wanted and all that, and finally did it, omg it was such a huge relief. When I went up to sing it though, somehow it felt like everything slowed down, and I thought I was singing the verses too slow, because it felt like the choir sung the response at normal speed. When I was done, I thought it could have been better, and when the members from the other choirs said that I did well, a part of me thought that they were just saying that - although I don't think they have any reason say something like that just unless they meant it c: As nice as it was to receive praise from people for it, I think what mattered more was my feelings about it. I was just happy that it was over, and I suppose listening back to it again (someone in the choir recorded all our psalms lol) I did better than I thought lol At least it's something I can be proud of, and if anything, what others have said was there to back it up.
On Sunday night, we went out to eat Austrian food, in celebration of (initially) my acceptance into NUS, and was apparently in conjunction with my bro passing his exams and moving on to his next semester. For me at least, reaching that night meant having my piano exam and psalm done as well, so it meant more of a sigh of relief to me. I had veal wiener schnitzel, which was tender enough for my metal mouth, and the poached pear and cranberries was pretty good to moisten it.
Aside from that, we've come to learn of Dal's many ailments. When we came back home on Sunday, we noticed him limping on his right side, which he had never done before, so it was a big cause for concern. My bro and sis brought him to the vet earlier this week, and it turns out he has so many problems: arthritis, ear and skin infection, heart murmur. I suppose part of it is our fault for assuming nothing's wrong with him, since we never really saw any problem with him, so we never brought him to the vet for the longest time. At least now, he's taking his medication pretty well, and looks better than he did on Sunday. The vet said that he should have four to six more years left in him, so I hope he can still stay around a little longer.
Apart from all of that going on, I've been packing my luggage for France. My mum passed me her tiny camera for me to use, and omg it's so smol, and I don't think the quality is that great? So I might use my phone camera a little more often, and to do that, I'm trying to transfer photos from it onto my laptop, and deleting the rest. I also had a micro SD card from my previous phone that fits into my current one, so that's pretty useful, and I sorted through that one too.
It felt kinda weird though, 'cos I don't know if some of the pictures are worth saving? I suppose I kinda want to save most of them, (even if they are poopy wa pictures lol) because I won't get them back again. And at the same time, it feels kinda weird having a completely empty gallery on my phone lol Anyway, looking through some of the photos made me realise how much fun I had in secondary school and the beginning of JC. Seeing photos of them then, and then thinking of them now, some of them have really grown.
I'm glad I had the chance to look through those pictures, though. At least it has made me see "what has been", instead of the "what could've been" that I've let myself stew in. Things aren't as bad as I had made it out to be, basically, and I think in the near future, in university, some things can be reformed and bridged again.
While I was looking through them though, I had a pretty heavy conversation with Daryl about friendships and needing attention/someone to talk to. I suppose the problem in the past, was that friendships were built on the fact that you see the same people five days a week, and once school's over, you don't really stay in touch since it's technically "physically inconvenient" to meet up. But at the same time, I guess growing up means learning how to maintain social relationships, too - just that I don't know how often those meet ups are supposed to be lol I do hope I can become a better friend, and surround myself with good people that I truly care about.
Anyway, I'll probably spend tonight going through the rest of the photos, zip them up on my laptop and transfer them to a thumbdrive lol I also need to rewrap my earphones (I do the friendship-bracelet kind of knotting on them lol), go through hymns for daily masses in France (I'm in charge of the "choir" since I'm among newbies that aren't in any church choir lol orz), and finish packing. Hopefully in France, I can find postcards too, that I can send to people ouo Also I can spam my instagram account with photos from France heheheheheheh
Showing posts with label Lab EXP. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lab EXP. Show all posts
Thursday, 31 March 2016
Sunday, 21 February 2016
First Official Order??
Well, some interesting things happened this week: I went back to NUS for more lab stuff, I got an order for a notebook from a stranger, and TOB was well, interesting, I guess. Maybe I should go in chronological order?
[EDIT: Braces, I forgot to mention BRACES!! I got the upper and lower done on separate Saturdays because of tiem, and I guess it hasn't been that bad. I did feel some pain on my protruding molar, but after a week it's gone, so I assume it's been pushed into position lol With the lower braces on now though, my incisors hurt, so I can't really bite anything (even baneeners ;AAA; Chewing is fine though, my braces don't really get caught on my cheeks. At least now I can say my teeth are extra shiny. Okay das all lol]
After last Saturday's TOB session, I told my mum in the car that the session wasn't very clear, and that it could've been phrased differently so that it makes more sense on our teen-aged level. When I read through the student's book, I remember there was one paragraph (about our bodies and physical appearances) which I think was what the teens really needed to hear, but she didn't talk about it. So I raised that point to her, and she just kinda sighed. I don't blame her, it's not easy to coordinate lessons of majority of the content. Like out of twelve chapters of stuff, she's doing like what, three-quarters maybe, so it's tiring to do it on your own. I guess this is where I come in lol
The chapter this week is about hope and redemption in Christ, which ties in with Lent and about how Jesus died for us to take away our sins, and that the sacrament of reconciliation is good and full of acceptance, rather than it being a time to have your wrongs pointed out and be ridiculed for it, which, as a teenager, doesn't make much sense. Also, from my own experiences of Catechism in general, my batch was mostly cynical, uncaring kids. I know, 'cos I've kinda been there before, thinking I know everything already. But I know from experience, that sometimes, the one's who suppress their emotions the most and harden their hearts, have only done so because they've been through difficult, emotional times.
Anyway, after reading the chapter on Monday, I couldn't help but think of some of the people I know of, and I just wrote some stuff down, about how saddening it is to see friends hating themselves, and I just went on from there. I kinda hesitated showing it to my mum, not only because it's something I wrote and have not much confidence in my writing lol but also because I wanted to let it settle first and see how I feel about it later.
On Tuesday I talked to my mum about my thoughts on the chapter - and then she assigned me to do the beginning of the session. It's kinda built on top of something that we did the previous time: a gallery walk with things like "books I've read, friends I've made, things I've muttered under my breath towards my parents" etc on different sheets of paper, as a reflection on our past and all the good and bad we've done. And after they've walked around, someone comes around with a crucifix (Jesus) to take it all down to symbolise that he takes responsibility for all that has happened in our lives. If you look at this, you just kinda think "yeah yeah, I know what you're trying to get at; whatever", and even I thought that too when I went through TOB the first time lol So, I was tasked by mum to do this this year.
The first time I wrote the script, it was like one thousand words long LOL Then again, I combined the gallery walk aspect and the thing I wrote the day before, so that it ties in better, and makes it more relatable to teens. Basically, my point was that the kind of love our closest friends show, those who listen to our self-hatred but listens to us and accepts it anyway, is the kind of love Jesus has for us. At least to them at this age, I think that's the kind of unconditional love that they can resonate with most and understand. I don't know if someone just had a runny nose, but when I got to this point in the script, I heard some sniffling lol And according to the other facilitators, the quietness at that point was the quietest the teens have ever been, the kind where they're really taking in what is being said, and I can only hope that's true.
If I had more time, I would've talked about pride, mostly because I myself know about that lol All the times I didn't want to own up to something, or thought myself the victim, or didn't show appreciation to those closest to me, or that something we did technically wasn't wrong, or berated myself and felt guilty for what I have done yet made no attempt to amend it. This issue of pride has stuck with me, because at the end of one of the adult-TOB sessions, the presenter, when talking about confession, said that the greatest sin of all is to think we have none. That really made me rethink what it is I have or have not done, and has made me want to correct myself.
Anyway, my focus was more on the "Jesus loves you" aspect because we as teenagers often can't see that as possible, to have someone love us unconditionally with all the hatred that we posses towards ourselves. And I think I myself have failed to do that when I should have done so. For the longest time I thought I knew what to do but I never knew how to - but I should just do it anyway, especially when I knew what was going on (I'm sorry I never came to help earlier.)
Yeah, it took me awhile to try and be satisfied with what I wrote, because I didn't know if what I was going to say would be meaningful to them, or if they would even be open to accepting it, but I guess from the feedback from the facilitators and how well the session went, it's all good. Even when I asked each person in my group a question they each had an answer (even the quiet one!!) so I'm proud of them c:
I also went back to the lab, from Wednesday to Friday, because the lab lady said the lab tech has her own experiment she's carrying out, and that I could ask if I could observe her while lab lady is away during Chinese New Year. Lab tech was doing protein cloning, which involves all the splicing of bacterial plasmids with a specific gene to mass produce a certain protein. However, the focus of this week was doing some western blotting that lab lady asked lab tech to do for her. Basically it's kinda like gel electrophoresis, but for proteins. And since the bands are invisible, you can either use some fancy machine that is light-sensitive, or you can expose it to film.
Lab tech is a nice lady, and I think she's the lab tech and safety person-in-charge of her floor because of her experience. Funny though, is that she can be forgetful and a little clumsy at times. There's one part in western blotting that needs you to transfer the bands from the gel to the membrane, and she forgot to put the membrane on in one of the trials. If I wasn't there watching her do it, she would've forgotten the last one LOL
She even let me carry things around and do things, even if I'm not allowed to do any sort of experimentation!! On Friday, we were supposed to let boxes of membranes swish around on a rotator, but the time to do that coincided with her AV duty for a seminar, so she left me with her access card and told me to put the boxes on the rotator at 11.50 that morning. And I was left alone for like 20 minutes while she was gone, and it was so awkward sitting at her table, no lab coat on, and everyone else is doing their own thing and I'm just, waiting. (Waiting to do my duty hOOOOAAAAAH) I even put on gloves just to switch on the rotator. (Apparently when you're outside, you're not allowed to go around with lab coats or touch things with gloves on, so like opening a door from outside needs an gloveless hand, because the glove itself is "contaminated".)
Anyway, I went down to return her access card and sat in on the seminar, given by quite a young lady with her research on stem cells and neurodisease therapy. I managed to understand some concepts, like a gene mutation that produces a faulty protein that causes motor neurons to fail, and how they discovered a drug to extend the lifespan of faulty motor neurons. I didn't understand everything though, so I looked up an article about their research, and then I realised that I have a big job to do as scientific journalist. I really need good understanding of the science before I can put it into words that normal people can comprehend, and if I can't understand it myself then welp lol
That Friday, I had lunch at the NUS science canteen. It was okay. I had spent wednesday's and Thursday's lunch at Clementi. The reason why I didn't eat at the canteen the first two days was because I didn't want to be faced with the awkward situation of not having a place to sit, among people who go there almost every day and have classmates to sit with. Also I wanted to go Art Friend, but the former reason is still more true ;w; Anyway, I had to eat at the canteen on Friday 'cos we would get our results later that day!!
We went to the fancy room with all the scanners on the floor below us. I had been there before with Lab Lady who talked me through some of the stuff she does with the PCR machine, and it's not that easy to understand. That was a good time though, because I asked a lot of questions and learned something lol Anyway, we tried one of the scanners, but it wasn't really showing any results, so we went to the dark room to do the old fashioned way, that Lab Tech was more accustomed to doing.
Their dark room is really weird. It's like half a column protruding from the wall, with a rotating door which is like three-quarters of a black tube. So you stand in the opening, spin the door around, and it opens to the dark room. And good gourd that room was dark. It took at least like five to ten minutes for my eyes to really adjust to it, and I didn't dare move in case I bumped into someone or accidentally walked into a machine. They only had two red ceiling lights, a table where you keep your cassettes and film, a sink that I didn't recognise was a sink, and some machine that you put your film in after exposing it to the western blotting membranes.
We spent some time there, and had some success with one of the proteins. You could see some efflorescence from it quite well and had good results on the film; but the one that should have worked, didn't. Even after trying a different dye-like-solution-thing, not all of them showed up on the film. Lab Tech said that she might have washed the membranes too well that the protein markers (antibodies rather, that attach to the proteins) were washed away so they didn't show up. Anyway, she was going to redo the antibody part of the procedure on Monday, when Lab Lady comes back. So, I don't know if there'll be anything for me to observe this coming week.
And the thing about my first "official" order happened one night, and I just totally freaked out. I couldn't believe I got an order!! From someone I didn't know!! I even asked Bei if it was a friend of hers (she's been sharing my carousell posts on fb lel) and it wasn't, so it must've been a lady who just came across it and wanted one. And it felt like it was so sudden when she asked for custom stuff and I was like so excite!! It's been a couple of days though, and it's gotten me kinda worried. This lady requested for a custom-made notebook, with lined pages and a name on the front, and they both are challenges in their own way.
I hadn't really thought about how to go about doing lined pages. Initially I thought I could use lecture pad, but the problem is that if I fold A5 pages (into A6) the lines of each folded sheet might not line up with each other, and lecture pad always have that wider space at the top and below. I managed to figure out a solution though. I watched a video about how to use lined paper in bookbinding, and there are programs that do the lines for you, so hecky ye.
Now for the name. At first I thought she wanted me to cut out a name on the cover, (like my first notebook) so I said 30 cents per letter lol but it turns out she wanted me to write it by hand on a name tag, like the one on my second notebook. She wanted me to do it in cursive, which is uh, kinda hard for me to do, with permanent marker. I spent about an hour trying out different variations, and sometimes it pains me so much, when you do it nicely once, but YOU CAN'T REPRODUCE IT AGAIN!! There was one that I did really nicely, and it would've been a shame to not use it, so I thought, why don't I just cut it out, and then paste it on the tag if she likes it. I even used my curved scissors to do the rounded edges, and I must say, I think it looks pretty darn good. (You can message me for pictures, I'm too lazy to upload anything rn)
I was kinda dumb to think, "oh, it's handwritten? I can lower my price for names lawl" so I made it 10 cents per letter, but I didn't think it would've taken me so much time to deliberate and struggle over how to write the name orz Even if I did lower my price, she hasn't replied for like, a couple of days now. I think I remember Carousell saying that the connection was lost or cancelled or something when I last heard from her, so I don't know if that's the problem. I can still message her fine though, like it gets onto the server or something idk. I don't know if this is what they consider "backing out", but even if she doesn't want it, I'll still make a lined notebook because I can experiment and figure out how to do it nicely. It's gonna be a real challenge though, to cut the paper nicely and evenly, and to get the lines match up nicely from page to page.
Yerp, that's what happened this week. I'm still waiting for a reply, I really really want to get something sold ;wwww;
[EDIT: Braces, I forgot to mention BRACES!! I got the upper and lower done on separate Saturdays because of tiem, and I guess it hasn't been that bad. I did feel some pain on my protruding molar, but after a week it's gone, so I assume it's been pushed into position lol With the lower braces on now though, my incisors hurt, so I can't really bite anything (even baneeners ;AAA; Chewing is fine though, my braces don't really get caught on my cheeks. At least now I can say my teeth are extra shiny. Okay das all lol]
After last Saturday's TOB session, I told my mum in the car that the session wasn't very clear, and that it could've been phrased differently so that it makes more sense on our teen-aged level. When I read through the student's book, I remember there was one paragraph (about our bodies and physical appearances) which I think was what the teens really needed to hear, but she didn't talk about it. So I raised that point to her, and she just kinda sighed. I don't blame her, it's not easy to coordinate lessons of majority of the content. Like out of twelve chapters of stuff, she's doing like what, three-quarters maybe, so it's tiring to do it on your own. I guess this is where I come in lol
The chapter this week is about hope and redemption in Christ, which ties in with Lent and about how Jesus died for us to take away our sins, and that the sacrament of reconciliation is good and full of acceptance, rather than it being a time to have your wrongs pointed out and be ridiculed for it, which, as a teenager, doesn't make much sense. Also, from my own experiences of Catechism in general, my batch was mostly cynical, uncaring kids. I know, 'cos I've kinda been there before, thinking I know everything already. But I know from experience, that sometimes, the one's who suppress their emotions the most and harden their hearts, have only done so because they've been through difficult, emotional times.
Anyway, after reading the chapter on Monday, I couldn't help but think of some of the people I know of, and I just wrote some stuff down, about how saddening it is to see friends hating themselves, and I just went on from there. I kinda hesitated showing it to my mum, not only because it's something I wrote and have not much confidence in my writing lol but also because I wanted to let it settle first and see how I feel about it later.
On Tuesday I talked to my mum about my thoughts on the chapter - and then she assigned me to do the beginning of the session. It's kinda built on top of something that we did the previous time: a gallery walk with things like "books I've read, friends I've made, things I've muttered under my breath towards my parents" etc on different sheets of paper, as a reflection on our past and all the good and bad we've done. And after they've walked around, someone comes around with a crucifix (Jesus) to take it all down to symbolise that he takes responsibility for all that has happened in our lives. If you look at this, you just kinda think "yeah yeah, I know what you're trying to get at; whatever", and even I thought that too when I went through TOB the first time lol So, I was tasked by mum to do this this year.
The first time I wrote the script, it was like one thousand words long LOL Then again, I combined the gallery walk aspect and the thing I wrote the day before, so that it ties in better, and makes it more relatable to teens. Basically, my point was that the kind of love our closest friends show, those who listen to our self-hatred but listens to us and accepts it anyway, is the kind of love Jesus has for us. At least to them at this age, I think that's the kind of unconditional love that they can resonate with most and understand. I don't know if someone just had a runny nose, but when I got to this point in the script, I heard some sniffling lol And according to the other facilitators, the quietness at that point was the quietest the teens have ever been, the kind where they're really taking in what is being said, and I can only hope that's true.
If I had more time, I would've talked about pride, mostly because I myself know about that lol All the times I didn't want to own up to something, or thought myself the victim, or didn't show appreciation to those closest to me, or that something we did technically wasn't wrong, or berated myself and felt guilty for what I have done yet made no attempt to amend it. This issue of pride has stuck with me, because at the end of one of the adult-TOB sessions, the presenter, when talking about confession, said that the greatest sin of all is to think we have none. That really made me rethink what it is I have or have not done, and has made me want to correct myself.
Anyway, my focus was more on the "Jesus loves you" aspect because we as teenagers often can't see that as possible, to have someone love us unconditionally with all the hatred that we posses towards ourselves. And I think I myself have failed to do that when I should have done so. For the longest time I thought I knew what to do but I never knew how to - but I should just do it anyway, especially when I knew what was going on (I'm sorry I never came to help earlier.)
Yeah, it took me awhile to try and be satisfied with what I wrote, because I didn't know if what I was going to say would be meaningful to them, or if they would even be open to accepting it, but I guess from the feedback from the facilitators and how well the session went, it's all good. Even when I asked each person in my group a question they each had an answer (even the quiet one!!) so I'm proud of them c:
I also went back to the lab, from Wednesday to Friday, because the lab lady said the lab tech has her own experiment she's carrying out, and that I could ask if I could observe her while lab lady is away during Chinese New Year. Lab tech was doing protein cloning, which involves all the splicing of bacterial plasmids with a specific gene to mass produce a certain protein. However, the focus of this week was doing some western blotting that lab lady asked lab tech to do for her. Basically it's kinda like gel electrophoresis, but for proteins. And since the bands are invisible, you can either use some fancy machine that is light-sensitive, or you can expose it to film.
Lab tech is a nice lady, and I think she's the lab tech and safety person-in-charge of her floor because of her experience. Funny though, is that she can be forgetful and a little clumsy at times. There's one part in western blotting that needs you to transfer the bands from the gel to the membrane, and she forgot to put the membrane on in one of the trials. If I wasn't there watching her do it, she would've forgotten the last one LOL
She even let me carry things around and do things, even if I'm not allowed to do any sort of experimentation!! On Friday, we were supposed to let boxes of membranes swish around on a rotator, but the time to do that coincided with her AV duty for a seminar, so she left me with her access card and told me to put the boxes on the rotator at 11.50 that morning. And I was left alone for like 20 minutes while she was gone, and it was so awkward sitting at her table, no lab coat on, and everyone else is doing their own thing and I'm just, waiting. (Waiting to do my duty hOOOOAAAAAH) I even put on gloves just to switch on the rotator. (Apparently when you're outside, you're not allowed to go around with lab coats or touch things with gloves on, so like opening a door from outside needs an gloveless hand, because the glove itself is "contaminated".)
Anyway, I went down to return her access card and sat in on the seminar, given by quite a young lady with her research on stem cells and neurodisease therapy. I managed to understand some concepts, like a gene mutation that produces a faulty protein that causes motor neurons to fail, and how they discovered a drug to extend the lifespan of faulty motor neurons. I didn't understand everything though, so I looked up an article about their research, and then I realised that I have a big job to do as scientific journalist. I really need good understanding of the science before I can put it into words that normal people can comprehend, and if I can't understand it myself then welp lol
That Friday, I had lunch at the NUS science canteen. It was okay. I had spent wednesday's and Thursday's lunch at Clementi. The reason why I didn't eat at the canteen the first two days was because I didn't want to be faced with the awkward situation of not having a place to sit, among people who go there almost every day and have classmates to sit with. Also I wanted to go Art Friend, but the former reason is still more true ;w; Anyway, I had to eat at the canteen on Friday 'cos we would get our results later that day!!
We went to the fancy room with all the scanners on the floor below us. I had been there before with Lab Lady who talked me through some of the stuff she does with the PCR machine, and it's not that easy to understand. That was a good time though, because I asked a lot of questions and learned something lol Anyway, we tried one of the scanners, but it wasn't really showing any results, so we went to the dark room to do the old fashioned way, that Lab Tech was more accustomed to doing.
Their dark room is really weird. It's like half a column protruding from the wall, with a rotating door which is like three-quarters of a black tube. So you stand in the opening, spin the door around, and it opens to the dark room. And good gourd that room was dark. It took at least like five to ten minutes for my eyes to really adjust to it, and I didn't dare move in case I bumped into someone or accidentally walked into a machine. They only had two red ceiling lights, a table where you keep your cassettes and film, a sink that I didn't recognise was a sink, and some machine that you put your film in after exposing it to the western blotting membranes.
We spent some time there, and had some success with one of the proteins. You could see some efflorescence from it quite well and had good results on the film; but the one that should have worked, didn't. Even after trying a different dye-like-solution-thing, not all of them showed up on the film. Lab Tech said that she might have washed the membranes too well that the protein markers (antibodies rather, that attach to the proteins) were washed away so they didn't show up. Anyway, she was going to redo the antibody part of the procedure on Monday, when Lab Lady comes back. So, I don't know if there'll be anything for me to observe this coming week.
And the thing about my first "official" order happened one night, and I just totally freaked out. I couldn't believe I got an order!! From someone I didn't know!! I even asked Bei if it was a friend of hers (she's been sharing my carousell posts on fb lel) and it wasn't, so it must've been a lady who just came across it and wanted one. And it felt like it was so sudden when she asked for custom stuff and I was like so excite!! It's been a couple of days though, and it's gotten me kinda worried. This lady requested for a custom-made notebook, with lined pages and a name on the front, and they both are challenges in their own way.
I hadn't really thought about how to go about doing lined pages. Initially I thought I could use lecture pad, but the problem is that if I fold A5 pages (into A6) the lines of each folded sheet might not line up with each other, and lecture pad always have that wider space at the top and below. I managed to figure out a solution though. I watched a video about how to use lined paper in bookbinding, and there are programs that do the lines for you, so hecky ye.
Now for the name. At first I thought she wanted me to cut out a name on the cover, (like my first notebook) so I said 30 cents per letter lol but it turns out she wanted me to write it by hand on a name tag, like the one on my second notebook. She wanted me to do it in cursive, which is uh, kinda hard for me to do, with permanent marker. I spent about an hour trying out different variations, and sometimes it pains me so much, when you do it nicely once, but YOU CAN'T REPRODUCE IT AGAIN!! There was one that I did really nicely, and it would've been a shame to not use it, so I thought, why don't I just cut it out, and then paste it on the tag if she likes it. I even used my curved scissors to do the rounded edges, and I must say, I think it looks pretty darn good. (You can message me for pictures, I'm too lazy to upload anything rn)
I was kinda dumb to think, "oh, it's handwritten? I can lower my price for names lawl" so I made it 10 cents per letter, but I didn't think it would've taken me so much time to deliberate and struggle over how to write the name orz Even if I did lower my price, she hasn't replied for like, a couple of days now. I think I remember Carousell saying that the connection was lost or cancelled or something when I last heard from her, so I don't know if that's the problem. I can still message her fine though, like it gets onto the server or something idk. I don't know if this is what they consider "backing out", but even if she doesn't want it, I'll still make a lined notebook because I can experiment and figure out how to do it nicely. It's gonna be a real challenge though, to cut the paper nicely and evenly, and to get the lines match up nicely from page to page.
Yerp, that's what happened this week. I'm still waiting for a reply, I really really want to get something sold ;wwww;
Thursday, 28 January 2016
check urself b4 u rek urself
~Dedicated to Ju ~
The week's not even over yet, and I've already got stuff to write about! Also the title is in reference to a conversation I had with Ju today about how she never reads my blog (at least, this one) and that I never post anything.
Here's to you, Ju
Also, I just realised it's been an exact week since I last posted. CONSISTENCY HECKY YEAH Anyway, I got more things to observe this week at the lab. I went in to hand in my indemnity form that was emailed to me. At first I wanted to give it to my parents to fill in because there were those option thingies that say my child/ward, until I looked in the corner. It read that parents fill it in if the child is less than 18. So I filled it in myself since I'm a no longer a child. Even after filling in the form though, I'm still not allowed card access, which doesn't seem like that much of an inconvenience, since I can message either the lab technician or the lady I'm shadowing. Problem is, is that the lab itself doesn't really have wifi or 4G. And they can't touch their phones when doing work either, because contamination and all that.
After handing in my form, I wasn't really planning on doing anything, but the lady I'm shadowing (let's call her Lab Lady, and the lab tech lab tech lol) gave me the Hallmarks of Cancer to read, so that I know what it is that she's doing and what the research on cancer is mostly about. I spent the three, four hours there reading through the whole thing - and that might sound like a bad thing, but it isn't really (I felt rather proud of myself for finishing it lol). [Skip the next five paragraphs if you don't want to read about the science I've learned lol]
Basically it's about the six (now possibly eight) characteristics of cancer, and the two underlying reasons for these characteristics. Basically if a cancer cell can continue signaling other cells to proliferate, avoid growth suppressors (proteins from tumour suppressing genes), resist death, can replicate for forever, enable creation of blood vessels in the tumour (angiogenesis), and invade and spread, it's cancer. Research has shown that another two possible characteristics is that it can reprogram its energy metabolism (instead of going though oxidative phosphorylation it works solely on glycolysis), and evade destruction by the immune system (it can even use the leukocytes for its own means) which are pretty astounding and unthought of.
At least according to my knowledge and what we're exposed to, we're taught that cancer are cells that have undergone gene mutation in either the tumour suppressor genes or oncogenes. That may be the reason for it being able to happen, but the maintenance and growth of tumours is much more than that. Like there's this thing when cells digest their own organelles in an effort to conserve energy when starved of resources. That seems like it means the cells will eat themselves, but in reality, it could be just what they need to continue living, even if dormant, so once resources can sustain them again, they're active - which is probably why people's cancer can recur. And it's not just about the tumour or cancer cells, it's also about the tumour microenvironment. Even though cancer can spread to elsewhere in the body, the new place doesn't have the same kind of tumour environment the cell had to proliferate in, so theoretically the cancer could be gotten rid off then. I should probably read through all of the Hallmarks of Cancer though, so things stay better in my mind.
Anyway, Lab Lady told me that she was gonna start on real time PCR this week, and that I could observe her when she does it, so I went today to see her extract RNA. At least this was pretty new to me, even if we've - very crudely - extracted DNA in school before. Basically, you lysate the cells so that all the membranes and stuff break down, and centrifuge it many times, (three times with two separate wash buffers, once with nothing to dry the column inside the spin tube) and wash out with a special water that is specifically free of any enzyme that breaks down RNA (centrifuge again) so that all the RNA (like all of them, not just the mRNA) are flushed out into the collecting tube. It's repetitive work, but you have to be careful with each run because it's time consuming and you want pure RNA lol After that you can measure the concentration of RNA in some fancy machine that uses UV spectroscopy.
There's an alternative way, that uses Trizol, just that it forms three layers in the tube: RNA on top, a small layer of DNA in between, and everything else at the bottom. That's not particularly easy either, because if you accidentally have some DNA while you do PCR, you don goofed 'cos you want the DNA that coded the mRNA, so having unnecessary DNA is like contamination.
They want cDNA (DNA reversely transcribed from mRNA) because if they use PCR on it, mRNA will break down really easily, so the amplification process will mess up with short chains of DNA that don't mean much, but DNA is more stable when heated. But I think for now, what she needs is whole chains of DNA from the mRNA strands, so she just does this once using the real-time PCR machine. I can't remember if she said I can come down that day, but we'll see. That ends the biology lesson for today lol
Okay, onto more life-stuff. I think the day before yesterday, my mum bought some clothes for Chinese New Year (even if I said I didn't need any since I've been shopping for clothes quite frequently with my mum and I'm like so much money has beens spent mother pls st op). There were some that I liked, so she was gonna exchange them for better sizes. Then she thought it would be better if I went down with her so I can try on the sizes myself, so I was like, sure. And I did, I went down to the store in downtown on my own, and met her there - but I forgot the bring the original clothes with me. Not all is lost, though! She said she can bring them down on Friday instead since the pants she ordered (or something, idk) were only ready on Friday anyway. So I tried on some stuff, we got them reserved, and went window shopping for a little too.
Honestly, I really like dresses. Like, I liked skirts for awhile, but dresses are easier in the sense that you don't have to match them with anything. And not all skirts are nice with every shirt omg the pain of having only one nice shirt with one skirt. I have like four pairs of black shoes now, so I can wear literally anything with them. And I really like dark-coloured dresses. Like, I always look at the black ones, and my mum is like, "no more black dresses" but JOKES ON YOU MOM, I ONLY HAVE ONE, AND THAT'S THE FORMAL ONE THAT I DON'T WEAR OFTEN ENOUGH! The other one is just a navy blue one, like come on bruh. *chanting* black dresses black dresses balack dresses black drdss BLARC DRDDES BLACK DRESERS BLAK DRE-- There was one dark blue dress that was really nice when I wore it, but the quality was kinda bad for its price. The downside to female clothing is price. It was $168.
Anyway, after we were done shopping, we went back by train (because my mum has been taking public transport to work since the downtown line has been up), and we stopped by the petrol station to buy milk. She messaged my dad, telling him to do so, but because he didn't reply, she assumed he didn't. Until, we saw his car at the station!! I don't know what got into my mum, but she tried opening the car door (it was unlocked, dad so daring) and we snuck inside. She tried to lie down flat in the back seat so he wouldn't see her, and I was surprised that my dad didn't bother checking. When he sat down and looked behind, he audibly was shocked and omg his reaction made my day. This whole incident was a surprise to me, because it's so rare seeing parents like this, especially since my dad is pretty serious. (I hope I can be like this one day ;w;)
Oh yeah, also I've been going to Clementi a lot, since that's like the next closest place to go after lab. I've been going to there to buy craft supplies, and I don't know if I should get a membership card. Technically I've only gone there "regularly" twice, to buy crepe and tissue paper and floral wire, so maybe I' should seriously get a card if I go a third time. And I've only done with four out of the twelve flowers from the bouquet Coach ordered, and I need to hurry up if I want to finish before Valentine's day. Not just because that's what he's getting it for, but because I'm getting braces done some time around then, so I should do it while I'm still functioning and not inebriated lol
All that aside though, today had some real drama: once when I was leaving the lab, and the other when I went shopping.
Since the lab is in NUS, I walk past NUH to get to the MRT station, and I walked past what seemed to be a verbal argument. This middle aged man was shouting, furious at an ambulance driver, what about, I don't know. At some point the driver shouted back, "WHO AM I? I AM A NOBODY" (if I remember correctly), so I thought that it was either a personal matter, or a petty one. Then the middle aged man was distraught, saying he was told to specifically pick up his handicapped wife "here", referring to what I think is the ambulance bay, since well, there was an ambulance there. So I guess what went down was that in his panicky state, he was told to pick up his wife at the drop-off/pick-up point, where the taxis usually are, but he went to the wrong bay? I can't really make much of a judgment, because I only happened to walk in on it, just as it got serious, and I didn't see what caused it.
It was so surreal at first, because all I heard first were raised voices, and seeing the scene was as though I was watching some TV drama, and that the personal question might have been between a father and son experiencing a strained relationship. Anyway, a lady who had asked me for directions to the station, went up to the middle aged man telling him not to shout, because you know, hospital, but I don't think she managed to do anything. I didn't stay to watch what happened next though, I'm not good with raised voices.
I headed to Jurong East and Clementi to find a present for Bei's birthday which is/was some time this month. Although the whole thing leading up to the gift-buying was more of a suggestion from me to Daryl about something entirely different, but since he couldn't do it himself, (being in NS already and having no free time to go shopping) I offered to do it for him. That was when the second drama of the day happened, as I looked around at Clementi mall.
I was typing it halfway, but then I was wondering if I'm allowed to talk about what happened. It's not that serious, considering the person involved is still quite young and probably isn't entirely aware of what they had done and the consequence of it, but I don't think it's a matter to be shared publicly. The middle aged man thing is separate, because he knew better.
Also, it rained - real bad. I waited at the station outside my place, and I was really concerned about the stuff I bought getting wet. Good thing though, was that I had a ziploc bag with my old school lab coat, which I had brought along the previous trip to the lab because you always need a lab coat! (Apparently, even that I'm not allowed to, because the lab coats they have are washed internally in the university, so that whatever was cultured in the lab doesn't go outside, even if it's molecular biological work.) So, I kept my phone and wallet in there, and kept everything else under the ziploc bag.
When I left the station, it was a faint, but still consistent drizzle, and it was pretty tolerable, apart from the cars rushing through puddles that pooled at the curb, that's annoying omg Possibly due to the lack of better judgment, I went the wrong way. Not as in being lost, I went the wrong way for my shoes and legs. There's like a little inner road that runs parallel to the main road, in between the two bus stops, for the row of bungalows that are built there, and what I didn't know, was that it sloped down slightly. And there were huge puddles of water on the sidewalk too. And it just so happened that when I reached it, it got heavier. So, I had to either sacrifice my feet through puddles of water, or water that flowed down the road and into my shoes. And because there are huge trees there too, walking under them is like being bombarded by fat raindrops that has been collecting on the leaves. By the time I got through that stretch of road, I felt like I was literally walking in puddles all the way home, because somehow my shoes weren't bad at collecting water. And then it got lighter, which is nice because it made things easier, but makes me feel so cheated because I just so happened to go through a small stretch of road at the worst time.
I could have been cheated even more. It could have been like that time I was walking out to go the lab and it rained for like ten minutes, but left me soaked up to my knees. I don't know what's worse in terms of the battering by the rain being worth my time and effort lol I did see a loaf of cat today, though.
A loaf of cat, outside a pizzeria that has the tagline, all you knead is love.
I think that's most of what has happened this week so far. The next big thing is probably TOB (again) but meh, I don't really want to bother myself with my kids lol Other things I need to do is practice piano, make more flowers for Coach's requested bouquet, and wrap the notebooks my mum asked me to do (for the kids who don't bring their journals. why kids, why must you do this to us adults) [also are the length of my posts Ning-worthy yet LOL]
Thursday, 21 January 2016
Shoes and Socks, Laboratories, Teenagers, and France
I haven't done much the past two weeks, mostly because I was waiting for the 18th of January (later changed to the next day) to come around, which was when I was to go to the physiology lab at NUS for some work experience. In the meantime, I didn't have much to do, really, except practice piano.
omg shoes
I think I went shopping for more craft supplies one of the days, and I don't know what is wrong with me, but I always wear the wrong socks with my shoes. The first time was when I sent Hans to the airport, and I thought wearing my short black socks with my sunflower shoes, but that meant the tongue of my shoe rubbed against my skin. When we went to look for cheap socks, they sold four at ten bucks, and since we couldn't just buy one pair, I had to buy four at one shot. But the socks were stuck together by thread so Hans had to rip it apart for me and I just changed my socks in public. Another day, when I went to buy craft supplies, I wore socks that were too thin for my shoes, so my shoes kept falling off my heel making it really hard to walk in. Again, I bought another pair of socks, and they had the plastic thing instead, but I managed to pull it out since socks are elastic. To be honest, I had seriously considered bringing one of my proper socks with me that day. I can't believe I didn't just wear proper ones asdhofalsdkjfad If anything, I'm now armed with more socks so I can't go wrong - unless I make a really dumb decision again.
I did go back to school for open house, because I had to pass a junior my literature books anyway, so I thought I might as well be there to help out at the history booth. I spent most of my time at the history booth talking to our history teacher, Mr B. But kids being kids that aren't really interested in history, it was pretty boring. I tried reading one of the history magazines laid out, and I don't remember a single thing from what I read. I don't think that many people came to the booth. The new syllabus is pretty interesting though, like I would go back to school just for the lessons on Japan and the American civil rights movement, but I think that's in their second year, so I can't really since uni.
When I talked to Mr B, he kept telling me to get a job and I was like, yeah I know lol But I hadn't gotten word from the physiology labs at NUS yet, see, so I couldn't get a regular job until I knew when I was free. The lab technician lady went on holiday for like three weeks, and she was only coming back on the 18th, so that was a pretty long break of having nothing concrete to do. I even told him about my parents being in Doha to see my bro, and he was astounded by how I didn't want to go. Come on Mr B, who wants to go to the desert, but he was like how could you pass up an opportunity to expose yourself to a new culture. Touche, Mr B, but I couldn't do anything about it anyway lol
Lab experience
Since the lab tech lady was only coming back on the 18th, I assumed she wouldn't be in that day, so I decided to go the next day. I spent the 18th with the Boob when he came back to get his grades remarked. We couldn't spend much time together though, because his flight was the same night, and he had to pay phone internet bills that he hasn't done for the longest time. We went down to one of those mobile service provider stores, and it turned out that he didn't need to pay - he actually had money to collect instead. Turns out what he owed was paid using his deposit so he just needed to pick up the rest of the deposited money, but that needed a letter too. So, we went down to the hostel, searched for the letter, picked it up, and went back to the service provider store. But he couldn't collect the money. What he needed was a different official letter that allowed him to collect the money - which would be sent to him in a week. Welp, We went to watch Ip Man 3, so das nice. (The beginning was pretty hilarious, and the movie wasn't that dramatic with the fighting, but it was a nice change of pace to see Ip Man as a husband rather than just as an upright and righteous man.)
Now is the real important stuff: lab work. I had gone to the labs before with my Dad, so I roughly remembered where I needed to go. I got stuck for a little while because I couldn't remembered how to get to the Science department's canteen, but I managed. There wasn't really a fixed time for me to come down, so I technically wasn't late lol The lab tech lady showed me around the labs and brought me through the lab safety protocols, like knowing where the liquid nitrogen tanks were, the keys to the chemical cabinets, what kinds of waste goes into which coloured plastic bags, all that stuff. We probably spent a good hour and a half going through all of it, and things seemed like I could get an access card to the labs so I can come down on my own when I want to - but I couldn't. There was one bit on the list that I couldn't do: I think there was some kind of quiz assessment I had to take before I could get a card of my own, but the assessment was only available to those already in NUS. Since I was technically an outsider, I wouldn't be allowed to take it. The lab tech did say that I could contact either her or the PhD student I'm shadowing when I'm there, so that they can open the door for me, so that's still okay for now.
I spent the last half hour talking to the PhD student I was going to observe. I guess I wasn't really allowed to do any experiment of my own since, after all, it's her research work and she couldn't possibly risk anything if something went wrong because of me. Also because I wasn't there for official research purposes of my own. Still, following her around and observing her experiments isn't so bad. I think it's something about a protein and how it affects the formation of the cell membrane of cancer cells. There was something else about another kind of protein that affected the expression or formation of genes in stomach cancer cells, so the theoretical stuff she was talking about wasn't that foreign to me. She did say that sometimes the experiment itself can get repetitive, so I suppose I don't have to be there every day since there's not much point in observing the same couple of things repeatedly. I'll probably follow her around when the new PhD student joins the lab, so I can learn along with the new student. I should probably check with her when that's gonna happen.
teenagers
The other thing that has kept me busy is Theology of the Body, and I have discovered that I really don't know how to be a facilitator of my group. I think it's partly hard for me because 1. three of the girls already know each other so I'm the odd one out, 2. I know one of the girls. I don't know her personally, but I know of her and she knows of me because of children's choir. I was kind of hoping I could get a group where none of them know me so that sharing things with them would be easier since there would be no existing basis on which they could judge me or something. I was never social in church, not among fellow catechism kids or in the children's choir. Also I feel very out of my element because I feel like I have almost nothing in common with them. WHERE ARE THE WEEBS AND THE FANDOM FANGIRLS LET ME BE AMONG SOME PEOPLE I CAN RECOGNISE Also one of the girls is really quiet. My mum says it's because she's friends with the girl who was supposed to be in my group, but she changed parish. Still, I'd rather a quiet girl that I can talk to one-on-one than three girls who talk among themselves with whom I don't belong with lol Can't u tell Im a gr8 teenagr who is hip and kool and rel8table.
Anyway, while going through all the preparation for this, I was worried that they, as fifteen year-olds, wouldn't understand sexuality, relationships, or have even thought about it. I don't mean to say kids their age haven't experienced relationships or felt confused about themselves, but I think TOB makes more sense when you've been through relationships and problems - and you're fully aware of what is going on in such things. But then I came to the conclusion that it's only by going through such things and reflecting back on them, that you're then truly aware, so age doesn't matter.
I think it's more accurate for me to say that I'm worried they don't have the maturity and ability to look at experiences, reflect on them, and identify what they have done wrong or where to grow. Yeah, I think it's the ability to reflect, recognise mistakes, and knowing how to move on from there that they need. Even my Mum says that she wished she could do this for older teenagers who are at least a little wiser and more exposed, but as it is with Catholic teenagers in my parish, not many would want to come back for such things. And if we don't do it now when these kids are still in catechism, no one else will educate them on the church's perception of sexuality and our individual selves. It's at least better that we teach them these things while they're still in church before they leave.
Anyway, regardless of their maturity or age or whatnot, our purpose with TOB for now is to educate them, even if they don't fully understand it right now at their age. The point is to equip them with knowledge about how to wholesomely perceive sex and sexuality, and maybe some day in the future, when they're faced with such situations, they'll think back and use whatever it is we taught them to help them make their decisions. As long as they learn something new that is useful to them in the future, then we've done our job. Also it's about aiding them make decisions, not dictating them how to live, because ultimately that's their choice in the future.
I can't remember how my train of thought came to the topic about age and maturity lol I remember while I was reflecting on how TOB would be carried out, I was thinking about how embarrassing and cringe-worthy secondary school was like. You know, it's like when you wish past-you was current-more-knowledable-you so that past-you could have avoided all the embarrassing stuff that happened. But then I realised, that it is only by going through the embarrassing stuff - and reflecting on them - that you learn from them and grow in maturity. The fact that you can recognise how embarrassing things were means that you've grown. As much as I don't like fifteen year-olds because of the immaturity they possess right now, I can't disregard the fact that they have to go through it now so they can be better, more self-aware people later (as long as they actually reflect on what they've done wrong).
I feel like this part about teenagers and growing up is all disorganised, even though I had thought through it a lot whenever it crossed my mind. There's just so many things to take into consideration about maturity and the different kinds of experiences you've been exposed to while growing up, and how that affects your understanding and perception when you're older.
hon hon hon
The thing about going to France is a very recent issue that came up, in the most unpredictable, unexpected way. I think what's more surprising is that I'm allowed to go.
Last Sunday, I went downstairs to the church office to get the air-conditioner remote for the choir room, and as I was leaving, I saw Father R there. He came up to me (which I thought was weird because he doesn't really have business with me) and asked if I had anything to do from now until uni, and I told him I was free most of the time, and he was like good, you wanna go for another pilgrimage, and I was like wat. It was so out of the blue, and big trips like these need planning. It isn't just open to anyone - and it was in April, which I think in relation to the months of preparation they do, is quite short-notice. Like I didn't even know there was a France trip, meaning that the invitation for it must have been sometime last year. Neither did I think of Father R to be this spontaneous about something that needs a lot of organisation. He told me to ask my Mum if both of us can go, and he even told me to tell her that he said "things happen for a reason" as a way to sell this deal to her, because I just so happen to be there when he was around.
To be honest, I was pretty interested in going, but I don't really know why, or at least, I don't remember why lol Maybe it was because it felt like an honour to be invited since Father R asked me and not anyone else. Or maybe because it was like "ooh, France" and I quite enjoyed the trip to Austria, so hey, this trip should be pretty fun too. Anyway, I messaged my Mum about it, and she was like "April?? Sigh!!" because we still had TOB to run, at least in the first half of the month, and she, of all people in the TOB team can't afford to leave since she's in charge of it all. Even if we couldn't go, I wasn't that disappointed either because the suggestion popped out of nowhere, that if we didn't go, it wouldn't make much difference to us anyway.
That was, until my Mum got a call from Father R that same night - suggesting that I go on my own. If you know the young babby child that I am, that's a pretty big deal. When my Mum told me that, I was dumbfounded. Like, I have to be responsible for myself there. And I don't know anyone except a few people, since most of those going are newly baptised adults. I have to take care of my own passport and everything!! I could feel the anticipation and excitement of going somewhere on my own creeping up on me, and I was actually looking forward to it, even if it meant I had to be responsible for myself and careful, since it was France. But I didn't really care, because !!!!!! This is gonna be excite!! My Mum went to church on Monday morning (since she goes for daily mass anyway) to ask about the details and everything - and apparently I have the approval of my parents to go? I'm pretty sure they're trying to get rid of me lol and maybe this is the chance to.
That's probably the biggest thing that happened this week, to me at least. My Mum is getting a new Honda. I mean she's been looking at eco-friendly hybrids because her car is getting old and the COE for it is expiring soon, I think, and she wanted something that would save money and the environment. But the reason why she's getting a new Honda, is because the one now has been causing problems from wear and tear, and just on Tuesday the radiator overheated, so my Mum had to send it for servicing. While she was there, she decided to go buy a Jazz since it's cheaper than the hybrids she had considered earlier, and at least the service at Honda is reliable so das good. The car won't come until a few months from now, but the payment and all that was settled yesterday when I went out shopping with her.
I think my overall plan for the coming months in chronological order is:
1. Piano exam - March
2. Lab work - Mid-Jan to March-ish
3. France trip - April
With all that in consideration, I think I can definitely find a regular job Mid-April. Right now, piano lessons are twice weekly, I don't know how often I should go to the lab (since it could get repetitive and I can't do anything on my own there lol), and April trip. I could probably sell paper flowers for now, but I'm gonna try and make a proper bouquet first before I know what I can sell. Also I should probably tell my Mum just so she knows what I'm doing and where I am in case of anything. I should probably also learn a little French for April, (and some Indonesian lol) since I have time. Oh right, I still have to apply for uni LOL
Look Mr B, I'm spending my time wisely lol
omg shoes
I think I went shopping for more craft supplies one of the days, and I don't know what is wrong with me, but I always wear the wrong socks with my shoes. The first time was when I sent Hans to the airport, and I thought wearing my short black socks with my sunflower shoes, but that meant the tongue of my shoe rubbed against my skin. When we went to look for cheap socks, they sold four at ten bucks, and since we couldn't just buy one pair, I had to buy four at one shot. But the socks were stuck together by thread so Hans had to rip it apart for me and I just changed my socks in public. Another day, when I went to buy craft supplies, I wore socks that were too thin for my shoes, so my shoes kept falling off my heel making it really hard to walk in. Again, I bought another pair of socks, and they had the plastic thing instead, but I managed to pull it out since socks are elastic. To be honest, I had seriously considered bringing one of my proper socks with me that day. I can't believe I didn't just wear proper ones asdhofalsdkjfad If anything, I'm now armed with more socks so I can't go wrong - unless I make a really dumb decision again.
I did go back to school for open house, because I had to pass a junior my literature books anyway, so I thought I might as well be there to help out at the history booth. I spent most of my time at the history booth talking to our history teacher, Mr B. But kids being kids that aren't really interested in history, it was pretty boring. I tried reading one of the history magazines laid out, and I don't remember a single thing from what I read. I don't think that many people came to the booth. The new syllabus is pretty interesting though, like I would go back to school just for the lessons on Japan and the American civil rights movement, but I think that's in their second year, so I can't really since uni.
When I talked to Mr B, he kept telling me to get a job and I was like, yeah I know lol But I hadn't gotten word from the physiology labs at NUS yet, see, so I couldn't get a regular job until I knew when I was free. The lab technician lady went on holiday for like three weeks, and she was only coming back on the 18th, so that was a pretty long break of having nothing concrete to do. I even told him about my parents being in Doha to see my bro, and he was astounded by how I didn't want to go. Come on Mr B, who wants to go to the desert, but he was like how could you pass up an opportunity to expose yourself to a new culture. Touche, Mr B, but I couldn't do anything about it anyway lol
Lab experience
Since the lab tech lady was only coming back on the 18th, I assumed she wouldn't be in that day, so I decided to go the next day. I spent the 18th with the Boob when he came back to get his grades remarked. We couldn't spend much time together though, because his flight was the same night, and he had to pay phone internet bills that he hasn't done for the longest time. We went down to one of those mobile service provider stores, and it turned out that he didn't need to pay - he actually had money to collect instead. Turns out what he owed was paid using his deposit so he just needed to pick up the rest of the deposited money, but that needed a letter too. So, we went down to the hostel, searched for the letter, picked it up, and went back to the service provider store. But he couldn't collect the money. What he needed was a different official letter that allowed him to collect the money - which would be sent to him in a week. Welp, We went to watch Ip Man 3, so das nice. (The beginning was pretty hilarious, and the movie wasn't that dramatic with the fighting, but it was a nice change of pace to see Ip Man as a husband rather than just as an upright and righteous man.)
Now is the real important stuff: lab work. I had gone to the labs before with my Dad, so I roughly remembered where I needed to go. I got stuck for a little while because I couldn't remembered how to get to the Science department's canteen, but I managed. There wasn't really a fixed time for me to come down, so I technically wasn't late lol The lab tech lady showed me around the labs and brought me through the lab safety protocols, like knowing where the liquid nitrogen tanks were, the keys to the chemical cabinets, what kinds of waste goes into which coloured plastic bags, all that stuff. We probably spent a good hour and a half going through all of it, and things seemed like I could get an access card to the labs so I can come down on my own when I want to - but I couldn't. There was one bit on the list that I couldn't do: I think there was some kind of quiz assessment I had to take before I could get a card of my own, but the assessment was only available to those already in NUS. Since I was technically an outsider, I wouldn't be allowed to take it. The lab tech did say that I could contact either her or the PhD student I'm shadowing when I'm there, so that they can open the door for me, so that's still okay for now.
I spent the last half hour talking to the PhD student I was going to observe. I guess I wasn't really allowed to do any experiment of my own since, after all, it's her research work and she couldn't possibly risk anything if something went wrong because of me. Also because I wasn't there for official research purposes of my own. Still, following her around and observing her experiments isn't so bad. I think it's something about a protein and how it affects the formation of the cell membrane of cancer cells. There was something else about another kind of protein that affected the expression or formation of genes in stomach cancer cells, so the theoretical stuff she was talking about wasn't that foreign to me. She did say that sometimes the experiment itself can get repetitive, so I suppose I don't have to be there every day since there's not much point in observing the same couple of things repeatedly. I'll probably follow her around when the new PhD student joins the lab, so I can learn along with the new student. I should probably check with her when that's gonna happen.
teenagers
The other thing that has kept me busy is Theology of the Body, and I have discovered that I really don't know how to be a facilitator of my group. I think it's partly hard for me because 1. three of the girls already know each other so I'm the odd one out, 2. I know one of the girls. I don't know her personally, but I know of her and she knows of me because of children's choir. I was kind of hoping I could get a group where none of them know me so that sharing things with them would be easier since there would be no existing basis on which they could judge me or something. I was never social in church, not among fellow catechism kids or in the children's choir. Also I feel very out of my element because I feel like I have almost nothing in common with them. WHERE ARE THE WEEBS AND THE FANDOM FANGIRLS LET ME BE AMONG SOME PEOPLE I CAN RECOGNISE Also one of the girls is really quiet. My mum says it's because she's friends with the girl who was supposed to be in my group, but she changed parish. Still, I'd rather a quiet girl that I can talk to one-on-one than three girls who talk among themselves with whom I don't belong with lol Can't u tell Im a gr8 teenagr who is hip and kool and rel8table.
Anyway, while going through all the preparation for this, I was worried that they, as fifteen year-olds, wouldn't understand sexuality, relationships, or have even thought about it. I don't mean to say kids their age haven't experienced relationships or felt confused about themselves, but I think TOB makes more sense when you've been through relationships and problems - and you're fully aware of what is going on in such things. But then I came to the conclusion that it's only by going through such things and reflecting back on them, that you're then truly aware, so age doesn't matter.
I think it's more accurate for me to say that I'm worried they don't have the maturity and ability to look at experiences, reflect on them, and identify what they have done wrong or where to grow. Yeah, I think it's the ability to reflect, recognise mistakes, and knowing how to move on from there that they need. Even my Mum says that she wished she could do this for older teenagers who are at least a little wiser and more exposed, but as it is with Catholic teenagers in my parish, not many would want to come back for such things. And if we don't do it now when these kids are still in catechism, no one else will educate them on the church's perception of sexuality and our individual selves. It's at least better that we teach them these things while they're still in church before they leave.
Anyway, regardless of their maturity or age or whatnot, our purpose with TOB for now is to educate them, even if they don't fully understand it right now at their age. The point is to equip them with knowledge about how to wholesomely perceive sex and sexuality, and maybe some day in the future, when they're faced with such situations, they'll think back and use whatever it is we taught them to help them make their decisions. As long as they learn something new that is useful to them in the future, then we've done our job. Also it's about aiding them make decisions, not dictating them how to live, because ultimately that's their choice in the future.
I can't remember how my train of thought came to the topic about age and maturity lol I remember while I was reflecting on how TOB would be carried out, I was thinking about how embarrassing and cringe-worthy secondary school was like. You know, it's like when you wish past-you was current-more-knowledable-you so that past-you could have avoided all the embarrassing stuff that happened. But then I realised, that it is only by going through the embarrassing stuff - and reflecting on them - that you learn from them and grow in maturity. The fact that you can recognise how embarrassing things were means that you've grown. As much as I don't like fifteen year-olds because of the immaturity they possess right now, I can't disregard the fact that they have to go through it now so they can be better, more self-aware people later (as long as they actually reflect on what they've done wrong).
I feel like this part about teenagers and growing up is all disorganised, even though I had thought through it a lot whenever it crossed my mind. There's just so many things to take into consideration about maturity and the different kinds of experiences you've been exposed to while growing up, and how that affects your understanding and perception when you're older.
hon hon hon
The thing about going to France is a very recent issue that came up, in the most unpredictable, unexpected way. I think what's more surprising is that I'm allowed to go.
Last Sunday, I went downstairs to the church office to get the air-conditioner remote for the choir room, and as I was leaving, I saw Father R there. He came up to me (which I thought was weird because he doesn't really have business with me) and asked if I had anything to do from now until uni, and I told him I was free most of the time, and he was like good, you wanna go for another pilgrimage, and I was like wat. It was so out of the blue, and big trips like these need planning. It isn't just open to anyone - and it was in April, which I think in relation to the months of preparation they do, is quite short-notice. Like I didn't even know there was a France trip, meaning that the invitation for it must have been sometime last year. Neither did I think of Father R to be this spontaneous about something that needs a lot of organisation. He told me to ask my Mum if both of us can go, and he even told me to tell her that he said "things happen for a reason" as a way to sell this deal to her, because I just so happen to be there when he was around.
To be honest, I was pretty interested in going, but I don't really know why, or at least, I don't remember why lol Maybe it was because it felt like an honour to be invited since Father R asked me and not anyone else. Or maybe because it was like "ooh, France" and I quite enjoyed the trip to Austria, so hey, this trip should be pretty fun too. Anyway, I messaged my Mum about it, and she was like "April?? Sigh!!" because we still had TOB to run, at least in the first half of the month, and she, of all people in the TOB team can't afford to leave since she's in charge of it all. Even if we couldn't go, I wasn't that disappointed either because the suggestion popped out of nowhere, that if we didn't go, it wouldn't make much difference to us anyway.
That was, until my Mum got a call from Father R that same night - suggesting that I go on my own. If you know the young babby child that I am, that's a pretty big deal. When my Mum told me that, I was dumbfounded. Like, I have to be responsible for myself there. And I don't know anyone except a few people, since most of those going are newly baptised adults. I have to take care of my own passport and everything!! I could feel the anticipation and excitement of going somewhere on my own creeping up on me, and I was actually looking forward to it, even if it meant I had to be responsible for myself and careful, since it was France. But I didn't really care, because !!!!!! This is gonna be excite!! My Mum went to church on Monday morning (since she goes for daily mass anyway) to ask about the details and everything - and apparently I have the approval of my parents to go? I'm pretty sure they're trying to get rid of me lol and maybe this is the chance to.
That's probably the biggest thing that happened this week, to me at least. My Mum is getting a new Honda. I mean she's been looking at eco-friendly hybrids because her car is getting old and the COE for it is expiring soon, I think, and she wanted something that would save money and the environment. But the reason why she's getting a new Honda, is because the one now has been causing problems from wear and tear, and just on Tuesday the radiator overheated, so my Mum had to send it for servicing. While she was there, she decided to go buy a Jazz since it's cheaper than the hybrids she had considered earlier, and at least the service at Honda is reliable so das good. The car won't come until a few months from now, but the payment and all that was settled yesterday when I went out shopping with her.
I think my overall plan for the coming months in chronological order is:
1. Piano exam - March
2. Lab work - Mid-Jan to March-ish
3. France trip - April
With all that in consideration, I think I can definitely find a regular job Mid-April. Right now, piano lessons are twice weekly, I don't know how often I should go to the lab (since it could get repetitive and I can't do anything on my own there lol), and April trip. I could probably sell paper flowers for now, but I'm gonna try and make a proper bouquet first before I know what I can sell. Also I should probably tell my Mum just so she knows what I'm doing and where I am in case of anything. I should probably also learn a little French for April, (and some Indonesian lol) since I have time. Oh right, I still have to apply for uni LOL
Look Mr B, I'm spending my time wisely lol
Wednesday, 16 December 2015
Adulthood: Part 2 & 3
Quite a couple of things happened last week, but I didn't really have the time to write it down, since I've been Christmas shopping with my mum and making gift tags for her. Also, I just recently got some teeth extracted, so sleeping and physically hurting has been taking up my time ;w;
On the 5th of December, there was a journalism scholarship talk I was gonna go for. Sadly, I had to go alone lol The only other person whom I knew was at least a little interested in journalism, was away for the holidays for a really long time, so I just had to make do and go by myself. Still, it was kinda cool to go by myself. I don't think I've ever gone out alone. If I do, it's usually to meet someone else, but this was kinda surreal and exciting in some way. (Don't judge me.)
The journey there wasn't so bad: there was a straight bus from my house; but you know me, I cam somehow mess up the smallest of things. I saw what I thought was my stop, but my reaction time was too slow to get up and alight. That turned out okay, because my actual stop was the one after it. And the same thing happened again. Okay, nevermind, I just need to get off at the next stop and walk back maybe! The bus went round a curve along a highway, before going back into residential area. I had to make do with stopping there, crossed over, and took the same bus back to the actual place. I guess it could have gone worse, but yeah, waste of time and worrying haha orz Anyway, I got to where I needed to be, asked where the talk was being held, and made my way to the place.
It was kinda daunting at first. The little foyer in front was empty, with a few staff on site. I wondered if that was the right place, and it was, when they ushered me into a small little hall with rows of seats. I didn't really pay much attention to my surroundings, I was too busy being nervous, as a lady told me to fill in the seats of the front row. Fair enough, until I realised I was visible, and in the line of sight of the speakers. Wow, okay they can see me, no biggie ;w;
A couple of videos of staff members and previous scholarship recipients played on loop, recounting their experiences and what it meant to be a journalist. There were two grammatical errors, and I couldn't believe it. ["A lot" isn't "alot" and it's not "adrenenline" omg] Most of the recounts by the scholars were of their experience covering small stories, that people wouldn't really know or care about. At first I thought that was kind of pointless, but then again that was what journalism is about: bringing stories to people so that they would care about such things. Later on, other questions popped into my head, like, "why am I here? Do I really want to do journalism?"
I thought I knew what journalism is. After watching "Kill The Messenger" about that journalist who exposed the truth behind the introduction of drugs into America, I knew that journalism is about bringing the truth to the people, and letting them come to their own conclusions. It's about educating the public, providing them with information from all perspectives and letting them decide for themselves. I suppose what they stressed in the talk was more about story-telling, which is important in it's own way, too. Additionally, they talked about how journalists tend to shift to different areas of journalism after a few years, which is kinda cool, but at the same time, not quite what I had imagined. My dad told me that what they look for in journalists, is an area of expertise. I'm pretty sure that if you cover politics or economics, you would need to understand all the jargon and terms before you translate them into something simpler and easier to understand for the general public. I should have taken the Q&A session to ask about scientific journalism, but I didn't know what exactly I wanted to ask ;w;
Anyway, after the whole session was some tea catered outside, and maybe I should have taken the opportunity to ask about application requirements, like whether I needed teacher references, and when was the closing date, but I got too scared. What made it worse was when I was thinking of getting some food (free, yey!) but then I two J1s caught my attention and gave me a general indication of recognition and I immediately nope'd out of there. I didn't want to stay around after that.
It was around 4, coming to 5, when I was at the bus stop. I could take the bus all the way back home, but I thought that since I was out, I might as well look for the Coldplay CD I wanted ;w; But, with the building being in the middle of almost nowhere except residences, it was hard to do so. I took a bus to a stop that I recognised near school, but didn't really know where to go from there. I ended up taking a bus to the place where I lost my EZ-link card, in the hopes of finding it. I had to walk across the overhead bridge with the sun setting, directly in my eyes, and since the bridge is pretty high up, it was blinding ono Once I got to the shopping centre, the bank was closed at 4.30. Had I gone earlier, I wouldn't have made it in time anyway. I just had to make my way home.
Wednesday was my next trial. My dad managed to schedule a meeting with one of his school friends who currently works in the laboratories at NUS, and he thought that if I'm doing biological/biomedical sciences, I should get a feel of real laboratory work first. Nothing went wrong during the meeting, I think it was pretty okay. There was even a little introduction and walk around the labs, which were a lot smaller and cluttered than I thought. My dad poked me to ask questions, which is still very awkward for me, when people are around LOL I don't know, I wasn't particularly inquisitive or curious (and how can I ever be a journalist like that, omg)
The most strenuous part about the whole thing though, wasn't the meeting, but the fact I had no socks on. My mum told me to wear something formal but comfortable - and anything with "formal" in them means, one of my black shoes. Those black shoes that haven't been broken in and are still stiff and uncomfortable. I would have been fine if I had my socks, but they weren't dry. So, I just had to settle with going sock-less. Bad idea.
My dad parked at his office nearby and said we could walk to the place. It was further than he expected. Then we almost got lost because the campus is so big, so he was concerned that I couldn't find my way home. (That was the initial plan see, he'd drop me off, and then let me go home by myself c:) While we were walking, my shoe kept popping off, which was really annoying and troublesome. I couldn't help but curse under my breath. I hope my dad didn't hear that, but he knew it was causing me trouble. When everything was over, he decided to take me to the train station and wait for him at one of the stations nearer where he parked the car, and then I could wait for him there to pick me up. In the end, that was okay c: (yey dad)
Well, that has been my journey so far. I guess you could include my oral surgery as part of this since that's pretty daunting on its own, but that's for another post. And maybe I shouldn't call these posts "adulthood", or specifically relate it to becoming an adult. I feel like that just makes it larger than it really is. I mean yes, it is in some way, part of my growth to become independent, but at the same time, I need to approach it from an angle in which I don't see it as troublesome or fearsome. I don't know, I'll figure it out when I'm in less pain right now.
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